


I Chose Defeat

by GeesCLUELESSgirl, momiji_neyuki



Series: It Came From Porn [3]
Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Betrayal, Blow Jobs, Bullying, Depression, Drug Addiction, Drug Withdrawal, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Forgiveness, Friends to Lovers, Frottage, Hand Jobs, Homophobia, M/M, Prescription Drug Abuse, Suicide Attempt, dragqueens, ignorance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-06
Updated: 2016-04-01
Packaged: 2018-04-19 09:24:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 30,907
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4741187
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GeesCLUELESSgirl/pseuds/GeesCLUELESSgirl, https://archiveofourown.org/users/momiji_neyuki/pseuds/momiji_neyuki
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>17 year old Gerard Way had everything. He wasn't rich, his parents weren't millionaires or anything, but he had everything he always thought he wanted. Gerard was popular. Captain of the football team. Star quarterback with a full scholarship to a top, ivy league school, upstate. He had the stereotypical beautiful blond cheerleader girlfriend, and was surrounded by people, all wanting to be his friend.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Best Day Ever

**Author's Note:**

  * For [](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts).



> Hi there chipmunks.. I'm GeesCLUELESSgirl. 
> 
> I don't normally write the notes on here, but I'm just filling in for the wonderful momiji_neyuki, as she has a life, and I don't!
> 
> This is another one of our colabs that is based on a porn.. Though I would challenge you to find the scene that we took.
> 
> With these fics, momiji says "Tracey.." (That's me) ".. Watch this porn.. I think we can make a fic from it!" And I'm like "Ok!".. So I watch it, and it's like one scene, with little dialogue, and virtually no story, but somehow, between us, we manage to create a whole fic from it!  
> We spend hours talking over ideas, so I hope you'll like this one!  
> I'm actually really excited for this fic.. We write as an RP, and I haven't played Gerard since our first fic together- (Special Delivery) so I'm looking forward to this!
> 
> I'm rambling now, so I'll stop and let you read the prologue.  
> Momiji will likely write her own notes to this when she can.. Til then.. Enjoy!

17 year old Gerard Way had everything. He wasn't rich, his parents weren't millionaires or anything, but he had everything he always thought he wanted. Gerard was popular. Captain of the football team. Star quarterback with a full scholarship to a top, ivy league school, upstate. He had the stereotypical beautiful blond cheerleader girlfriend, and was surrounded by people, all wanting to be his friend. Gerard's home life was pretty good too. His mum and dad were together, unlike a lot of his schoolmate's parents, and they supported his football dreams, as long as he kept up with his grades as well. Gerard had always gotten good grades. Brains ran in his family; his dad was a lawyer, though he did mostly pro-bono work, and his mother was a woefully underpaid doctor at the local hospital. Then there was Mikey, Gerard's older brother. Mikey was _super_ smart, verging on genius level, and had graduated high school at the dizzyingly young age of 13, and finished college by the time he was 16. Mikey had then gone on to medical school, and was now in his 4th year. Gerard looked up to his big brother, both physically, and as a role model, and Mikey just _loved_ that, but with being older, and that much smarter, Mikey could be a bit condescending, and if Gerard ever did anything wrong, Mikey would be the first to tease him about it.

There was no teasing today though. Gerard and his girlfriend, Taylor, were at the Plaza Diner on Bloomfield Avenue, with the entire football team, The Buccaneers, having their pre-game meeting, and their favourite cheeseburger and sweet potato fries.

"So.."

Gerard concluded his rally to his team.

".. We're gonna crush them Braves tomorrow.. Make them wish they never left their reservation!"

His team all cheered, loudly, gaining an eye roll from Doris, the woman behind the counter, who wished she'd called in sick tonight.

"Indian Hills beat us last time, but we're stronger and better than ever, and they don't stand a chance now!.. We're gonna win!"

The team broke into a loud chant.

"WE'RE GONNA WIN! WE'RE GONNA WIN! WE'RE GONNA WIN!"

Gerard grinned, then leaned into Taylor's ear and whispered to her.

"And after, you and me gonna have our _own_ celebration!"

Taylor giggled and kissed his cheek.

"WE'RE GONNA WIN! WE'RE GONNA WIN! WE'RE GONNA WIN!"

(Time lapse~ Next day. The big game. Beginning of the 4th quarter.)

"Ok, so that's the play!"

Gerard murmured to his teammates in the huddle.

"All clear?"

"CLEAR!"

Everyone shouted, then took their positions. A minute later, the whistle blew and they leapt into action. As planned, Gerard was passed the ball, then set off down the left side of the field. He could hear the crowd roar for him, and it spurred him on. He dodged several attempted tackles, but just as he was passing the refreshments table, his luck ran out. A huge guy called David, who Gerard had had run-ins with before, crashed into him from the right, sent him out of bounds, and straight into the table. It all happened so quickly, that there was nothing Gerard could do to stop, and he found himself on the ground amongst all the bottles of Gatorade that had fallen when the table toppled over. David was on top of him, and suddenly, so was everyone else, as both teams piled on. Gerard was stuck underneath more than a dozen guys, and they were all trying to get the ball. As the pile shifted, Gerard felt a foot against his right knee, and a sudden, and very painful crunching sensation, that caused him to cry out. He lost his grip on the ball to a guy who's name he didn't remember, and it disappeared out of the pile-up, and out of his view. As the other players moved away, that foot seemed to press on his knee again for leverage, and he gasped for breath as he gritted his teeth from the pain; then it was gone, and a moment later, he was the only one still on the ground. The coach came over as he struggled to his feet.

"You ok Way?.. That was quite a hit you took there!"

Gerard nodded.

"Yeah coach, I'm good. I'll just run it off!"

The coach nodded, then Gerard rejoined the game. His knee felt like shit, but this game was important. It was the season final, and there was no way he was gonna be benched. Fighting through the pain, he made it to the end of the game. They had smashed the other team 35-16, and the crowd was cheering. Gerard waved to Taylor as she and the other cheerleaders ran onto the field to congratulate the team. He didn't see his friend Bob, as the larger boy barrelled into him from the side, in a congratulatory tackle. Both boys went down, and Gerard's knee crunched audibly. He screamed out in agony, grabbing at his injured leg. Bob got off of him, realising that his friend was hurt, and within a minute, Gerard was surrounded by people as they wanted to see what had happened. The paramedics that had been on the sideline through the entire game went running over to assess the damage. Twenty minutes later, Gerard was being Medivaced out, and over to Clara Maass Medical Center. After X-rays and various tests had been done, and Gerard had been given some strong pain killers, he was sat in an uncomfortable hospital bed, surrounded by his family and friends. Taylor was perched on the edge of his bed, holding his hand, and the coach was reassuring him that everything would be ok.

"I've seen this before. It's probably not as bad as it feels."

The door opened and Gerard's doctor walked in, hesitating when he saw how full the room was, then walked over to the bedside.

"Hello Gerard. How are you feeling?.. Is the pain relief working?"

Gerard smiled and nodded. He felt a little like he was flying .

"Good good. Now, I've looked at your X-rays, and it shows that you have damaged your anterior cruciate ligament."

The coach grinned.

"See!.. Like I said, not that bad!.. It can be fixed with surgery.. Right doc?.."

The doctor nodded.

"..And your insurance will cover it, so no worries!"

The doctor nodded again, before continuing.

"Yes, that's right."

He turned to Gerard.

"Can you tell me what happened?"

Gerard nodded.

"We won the game!.."

His teammates cheered, but fell silent after a stern look from the coach.

".. And Bob tackled me!"

Bob looked sheepishly at the floor.

"Sorry bud."

The doctor frowned.

"Was that the only time you were tackled?.. This injury looks worse than you'd get from just being tackled by one person!"

Gerard looked down at his hands.

"Well, I _was_ kinda buried under a pile-up."

"And did your knee hurt after _that_?"

The doctor quirked an eyebrow.

Gerard sighed. He couldn't hide it. He knew that.

"Yeah. It.. It did!"

The doctor frowned deeper.

"Well, if you sustained the injury then, and continued to play.. then it's more than likely that you aggravated it. If you had stopped playing and sought medical treatment straight away, it would've been an easier fix, and cheaper too.."

He looked at Gerard's parents.

".. I'm sorry to say, but under the circumstances, your insurance won't pay for the operation that Gerard needs. Is there any other way you can pay?"

Gerard's dad, Don, shook his head.

"I don't know!.. How much would it cost?"

The doctor checked his file, then looked up.

"$11,000!"

Don shook his head, sadly.

"No!.. There's no way we can get that kind of money."

He and Gerard's mum, Donna, stepped to Gerard's bedside.

"I'm so sorry son.."

Don muttered.

"There's nothing we can do!"

 


	2. Some People Run

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You got my life Bob, what the fuck else do you want from me!?"
> 
> "Well since I have your life, why are you still here?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone!
> 
> Not going to lie, kind of excited for this fic. Once again, I shock my partner, _***GeesCLUELESSgirl***_ by pulling a decent plot out of a 15 minute porn, but I really think this is going to work out! ^0^
> 
> Enjoy guys!

_***Time Stamp:Two Years Later***_

 

"Gerard, get up!"

Donna barked at him.

"You're going to be late!"

She turned and left the basement. Gerard groaned and rolled over. What was the point? It wasn't like he <I>wanted</I> to go to that shitty community college anyway. Wincing at the slight, but constant pain in his knee, Gerard sat up and reached into his nightstand drawer, and pulled out a bottle of Demerol pain killers. Opening the bottle, he tipped two of the little white pills into his hand, then swallowed them down dry, before swinging his legs carefully off the bed, and standing up, wincing again at the pain. Shuffling across the room in his sweatpants and Misfits t-shirt, he caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror on his wardrobe door. Frowning, he shied away from his reflection, not wanting to see his greasy hair, his haggard, sleep deprived face, or how much weight he'd put on, not being able to exercise these past two years. Sighing, cos why was he even bothering anymore, Gerard limped his way up the stairs and into the kitchen. When he stepped into the room, he rolled his eyes. Well, <I>this</I> was gonna be fun. There at the kitchen table, drinking coffee and laughing at something Don had said, was Mikey. Gerard <I>really</I> wasn't in the mood for this!

"Morning."

He muttered, shuffling toward the coffee maker.

"About time you joined us son. Your brother was just telling us about all the offers he has had after he graduates already."

Mikey sat back sipping his coffee and smirking.

"Now dad, I don't want to bore Gerard with my life. His is much more interesting...right Gee?"

Gerard grunted, unintelligently. Why couldn't Mikey just let one opportunity to tease him slip by? Pouring himself a cup of strong black heaven, Gerard turned around to face his family, loose term.

"Sure!"

He said, sarcastically.

"I got flying lessons first thing, then I'm climbing Mt. Everest, then later, I got a date with Cameron Diaz!.. What are <I>you</I> up to today dear brother?"

"Well actually, I am going to meet with the board of trustees at the hospital where I am considering taking a position. My girlfriend's father is on the board you know."

"And, she may be more than a girlfriend soon, right son?"

"Now dad, don't go jumping the gun...although, marrying her could cement my place on the board in the future."

Donald patted Mikey on the back.

"That's my boy, always thinking ahead. You would do well to take a lesson from your brother Gerard."

Gerard sighed, draining the last of his drink.

"I gotta go get ready."

He mumbled, putting his cup in the sink and heading back toward his room.

"Hurry up Gerard, I'll wait for you in the car."

As Gerard limped away, he overheard his brother.

"He could learn to drive you know. He just has to get used to wearing the knee brace."

"Son, your brother does not want to try and succeed at anything at all."

"Still it is not fair that Mom has to drive him around all the time. I promise mom when I get on the board, I will get you someone that can drive Gerard around and you will be free to do what you want."

"Thank you sweetheart. Right now though, I have to call Linda and let her know that I am going to be late again. I wish Gerard was more like her son. He is so polite and understanding."

Gerard bit back tears as he headed down to his room. He _would_ wear that fucking brace, if it didn't make the pain even worse. Entering his room, he stripped off and headed into his adjoined bathroom. The water barely made it above room temperature, (Thanks dad!), so Gerard showered quickly, washing at least some of the grease from his hair, then dried himself off and headed back to his room to dress. He had his towel wrapped low around his hips, and his mind on ways he could get out of going to college today, so he was shocked when he walked into the room, and found Mikey stood by his desk, looking through the pages of his sketch pad.

"What are you doing?

He demanded, reaching out to snatch the book away.

"Well I was waiting for you to see if you wanted to go to the movies after classes, but if you are going to act like a child, you can just forget it."

Mikey stood up and walked to the door.

"Nice waste of time by the way. No wonder you are already failing English."

Gerard clutched the sketch pad to his chest as Mikey left the room.

"Whatever."

He huffed, before putting it back in its place on the desk, and turning to his wardrobe to pick out his clothes. Ten minutes later, in black jeans, a faded David Bowie shirt and black Vans, Gerard limped back up the stairs and into the kitchen. As he entered, the murmured conversation he'd heard going on as he climbed the stairs, came to an abrupt halt, as Mikey and their parents all turned to look at him, with varying levels of guilt on their faces.

"Oh, don't stop talking about me on <I>my</I> account!  Just pretend like I'm not even here."

He raised an eyebrow at them as no one spoke, then rolled his eyes and shook his head.

"Whatever…you ready to go, or what?"

He knew he was being childish, but they just seemed to bring that out in him these days. Donna gabbed her coat and kissed Mikey and Donald goodbye and then they left

* * *

"Honestly Linda, I have no idea what to do with the boy. I mean I understand what happened, but that was two years ago. He should be over it by now."

Linda looked at her coworker and frowned internally. She hated that Donna praised one of her sons and put down the other. If Frank had a sibling, she could never do that.

"Is he still struggling in school?"

"Yes, especially English."

"You know my Frankie, is pretty good, maybe he could help him out, you know, tutor him a bit."

Donna looked at Linda like she was the holy grail.

"Oh that would be wonderful!"

"I will let him know. When do you pick up Gerard?"

"He usually waits at this coffee shop for me, but if Frank wants to pick him up instead, that would be wonderful. i do have to get something for Mikey and..."

Before Donna could start praising the older again, Linda was on the phone with Frank.

"Donna, what does he look like?"

The only pictures Donna had were of Mikey on her desk.

"Oh you know the typical depressed young adult. I think he was wearing some kind of rock band shirt and he has this old green jacket."

Linda nodded and went back to talking to Frank. He was a little protesty, but Linda knew he would understand.

"Thank you Frankie."

She hung up and looked at Donna.

"Frank will pick him up."

* * *

Frank grumbled as he adjusted his glasses and drove to the community college. He was told that this boy would be at one of the open coffee cafes, but he was hardly given much of a description. He was about to give up when he saw a group of young adults around a table talking to someone. Well, at first it looked like they were talking, till one of them hit the concrete and the others started laughing. There was a tall blonde boy and a skinny blonde girl who seemed to be the ring leaders. He parked his car and after taking a deep breath he walked over to the scene.

Gerard gritted his teeth and looked up at Bob and Taylor, his right hand wrapped around his stomach as he tried to breathe.

"You got my life Bob, what the fuck else do you want from me!?"

"Well since I have your life, why are you still here?"

"Yeah, why don't you just go and kill yourself Gerard. You are nothing, but a drain on sociality."

"I think you mean society."

The group of bullies looked up when Frank spoke.

"Who the fuck are you?"

"No one important, I am just here for him."

Bob looked at the boy and Tracy laughed.

"Oh that's rich. You hanging out with nerds now Gee?"

Gerard looked up at a boy he'd never seen before. He was smartly dressed in black slacks and a black button up shirt, and he had a perfect pair of nerd glasses on, but Gerard saw more than that. The boy's hair nearly reached his shoulders, and Gerard was sure that he could see a couple of tattoos peeking out from beneath his nerd attire.

"No…"

Gerard muttered.

"…I'm hanging out with a friend."

He hoped the boy would play along; otherwise he was going to look awfully tragic.

"Sorry I'm late, traffic was difficult to transgress."

"Listen to him Bobby, what a nerd!"

The blonde laughed high pitch.

Gerard glared at her.

"Bitch."

He muttered under his breath, before looking toward the boy.

"It's okay, I was detained a little myself."

"Yes, I can see that. If you are done with your *ahem* intelligent friends, we have an appointment to keep."

"Course, err…gimme a second."

Gerard pushed himself awkwardly, and painfully to his feet, time for more painkillers, then limped toward the boy, who he now realized was a couple inches shorter than him.

"K’ let's go."

The bullies continued to cat call as Frank walked to his car with Gerard limping behind him. He wanted to offer to help him, but he figured it would look bad in front of the assholes. Gerard was still clutching his stomach where Bob punched him before. It hurt like hell in the beginning, but it was starting to ease off now. Unfortunately, the same couldn't be said for his knee, which felt like it had knives sticking in it. He was slowing down, and the boy, whose name he didn't actually know, was leaving him behind a bit. Nice. Thanks! What was worse was that Bob, Taylor, and the meatheads with them, were now following him. This could get nasty. Limping onward, he tried to ignore their taunts and nasty comments. Frank turned around as the group was gaining on Gerard. He quickly pulled out his phone.

"Oh hey dad. No, nothing important, I just wanted to know if you wanted me to swing by the precinct with you extra badge."

The group stopped short.

"Yeah, i got it."

Frank opened his wallet and flipped it so that the badge gleamed in the light and said Detective Iero where all could read.

Gerard shot Frank a small, but grateful smile as he limped up to him.

"We making a detour?"

He asked, nodding toward the phone.

"Yeah, my dad needs us to stop by. He wanted to say hi to you anyway and find out how school is going."

"Oh cool... I been <I>meaning</I> to come talk to him actually..."

He looked back at Bob, then faced Frank and smirked slightly.

"Been too long."

"Yeah, well he has a big case to get back to. Someone defaced a woman's property and he is this close to finding out who."

Frank was completely bullshitting but the look on one of the guy's faces showed that he might have been responsible for some mischief.

"Well, guess we should go then."

Gerard smiled, and then glanced at his old friends.

"Bye guys."

He said sarcastically, then turned back to the boy and nodded. They started walking again.This time, the boy stayed at Gerard's side, and Bob and his crew stayed where they were.

"Thank you."

Gerard murmured quietly as they approached what he assumed to be the boy's car.

"I'm Gerard, by the way."

"Frank. Nice to officially meet you. Now let's get out of here."

Frank held the door for Gerard to hobble in and then got in himself. He waved to the bullies and drove off.

Gerard relaxed in the seat for a moment before digging in his pocket for his pills.

"Damn!"

He muttered, his teeth gritted. They must've fallen out when he fell. He had more at home of course, but from the direction they were traveling in, it was obvious that they weren't going there.

"Did you lose something? What are you looking for?"

"Oh, err…just my painkillers. That asshole got me good."

Gerard frowned.

"You carry around pain killers in case someone punches you?"

"No!”

Gerard shook his head.

"I take them for my knee, but I kinda need one right now."

"Oh...want me to go back for them?"

"Uh..."

Gerard didn't want to come across as weak, or like a druggy.

"No No, I'll be ok."

He looked out at the road ahead, taking his surroundings in for the first time.

"Um…where are we going anyway?"

"The Library."

"Err…okay..."

Gerard frowned.

"Why?"

"We are going to study of course."

Frank looked at the boy and saw confusion.

"Didn't you're mom tell you?"

"My mom?"

Gerard was <I>really</I> lost now.

"Y-You know my mom?"

"Well no, but my mom works with her and...she really told you nothing?"

Gerard shook his head and looked down at his hands.

"No. but I guess it makes sense now."

"Ah...well I can just bring you home if you rather."

Gerard sighed.

"No. We might as well do this. She's paying you, right?"

"No...actually she isn't."

Gerard looked at Frank incredulously.

"Really?"

Then it dawned on him.

"Well no.. No, of _course_ she wouldn't, but if it was Mikey..."

He huffed, turning away and slouching in his seat.

"…different story then.”

He muttered.

"Look we obviously got off onto the wrong foot. Why don’t I bring you home and you can talk to your mom about everything and then call me okay?"

Frank reached over and picked up Gerard's phone, which was sticking out of his messenger bag. He typed in his number and sent a text.

"There."

Gerard shrugged.

"Sure, whatever."

Then he looked at Frank, realizing something.

"If you're not getting paid, then why are you doing this?"

"I like helping people."

Frank hung a left and then arrived at Gerard's house.

"Here you go."

Gerard stared at him and made no move to leave the car.

"But you don't even know me, why would you want to waste your time with a loser like me?"

"Well, that should be logical to figure out. I don't know you and therefore, I have not had a chance to make a decision whether you are a loser or not."

Frank smiled.

Gerard made a noise somewhere between a laugh and a grunt.

"You'll figure that out soon enough, everyone else has."

"So tomorrow, do you want to go to the library or work here/"

Gerard sighed.

"Library I guess."

He looked up at the house, not really sure he wanted to go in just yet. Maybe he'd go for a limp around the block first or just sit on the front steps till his ass went numb. He looked back at Frank.

"Thanks again for what you did before. I know it was just cos you'd been sent to find me, but thanks anyway."

He opened the car door and started to climb, painfully, out onto the sidewalk.

"Here, let me help you."

Frank turned the car off and got out. He moved to the other side and gave Gerard his arm.

"Here."

Gerard looked up, a blank expression on his face for a moment, then smiled wryly.

"I'm not gonna pay you either, you know?!"

He chuckled, accepting Frank's help, and hoisting himself upright. Once he was sure he had his balance, he let go.

"You really are just a nice guy, aren't you Frank?"

He smirked.

"i try to be."

Frank watched Gerard limp to the door.

"Hey!"

Gerard turned.

"What?"

"How about we grab something to eat before the library tomorrow."

Frank didn't wait for the boy to answer. He hopped in the car and started it rolling down the window.

"Catch you later Gee."

Gerard watched the car pull away from the curb and head off down the street.

"Yeah..."

He muttered, turning back toward the house.

"See ya."

 


	3. The Amount of Pills I'm Taking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You told her I had brain damage! Why _wouldn't_ I use that?"
> 
> "I was using the sympathy card to get laid!"
> 
> "Funny that. me too!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone!
> 
> So this chapter you find out more about the Way brothers and how they treat each other and a little bit about Frank. 
> 
> Honestly it is a filler chapter and short by my standards, but I think it explains a lot. ^-^
> 
> Enjoy guys!

When Gerard opened the door and walked in, the last thing he expected to see was a half-naked girl in his living room with his brother...that was clearly not his girlfriend.

"Shit Gerard, I thought you were going to the library!"

"Clearly!"

Gerard remarked, raising one eyebrow.

"So you broke up with Sarah then?!"

He knew Mikey would hate him for that, but the look on the unknown girl's face was worth it.

"Who the fuck is Sarah?"

The girl tried to look as indignant as she could with no shirt on.

"No baby, there is no one else, but you. This is my little brother, you remember I told you about him?"

The girl got a look of concern on her face. She got up and walked over and hugged Gerard tightly, pressing her bare chest against him.

"Oh sweetie, I'm so sorry."

Gerard's eyes widened as his arms flapped uselessly and his jaw dropped. He looked at Mikey and saw a wicked grin on his face.

"What did you say Mikey?"

The girl reached up and placed a finger against Gerard's lips.

"No baby, it’s okay, we don't have to talk about it. You just go lie down and rest."

Gerard looked between them, confused. He _knew_ that Mikey had done something, but he didn't know what, and it appeared that he wasn't going to find out.

"I'm, I'm not tired!"

He said, somewhat lamely.

"Now you know you need your rest and your pills for your delicate condition."

"Delicate…what? Michael I..."

He _really_ ; wanted to know what Mikey had told her now!

"…I don't understand."

He looked at the girl with sad eyes. Two could play this game!

"What does he mean?"

He bit his lip, innocently.

"Awww look at you, you look like a little kitten. Come here sweetie."

The nameless girl pulled Gerard to the easy chair and into her lap. She pressed his head between her breasts and rocked him humming softly. Gerard snuggled against her. He could see a furious Mikey out of the corner of his eye, and shot him a smirk as he nuzzled the girl's right breast.

"You're comfy."

He said in a slightly babyish voice as he _accidentally_ nosed her nipple.

She sighed and held him tighter.

"Amber, we have to get going if we are going to make the movie."

"But Mikey Mouse, you said that he needed to be gently rocked by your mom when he got upset in order to stop..."

"Yes...I know what I said, but she will be home soon anyway, so..."

"Well then I will put him to bed like she does."

"NO NO! You don’t have to do that!"

"I insist cause I upset him."

The girl, now Amber, raised Gerard's head carefully by his chin.

"Time for little kittens to lie down and take soothing naps. Let me tuck you in okay?"

Gerard let his lip wobble a bit, and nodded slightly, before climbing off of Amber's lap. He turned his head to look at Mikey, and wiggled his eyebrows, a wicked glint in his eyes, then he put his sad face back on and turned to take Amber's hand as she offered it.

"Can I have some milk?

He asked, sweetly.

"Of course kitten, do you know where your mommy puts your bottle?"

If Mikey could have timed how fast it took for his brother's head to whip around to him when he heard that...

"My bottle, no?"

Gerard looked down at the floor.

"But I think Michael does."

Amber turned to Mikey and placed her free hand on her hip, making her breasts jiggle slightly.

"Well Mikey Mouse, where is it?"

Mikey had to think fast.

"Oh, well the nipple cracked and our mom had to go out and buy more, so I guess no milk till she gets back.

Gerard sniffed, his bottom lip full on trembling now. Amber pulled Gerard in tight again. She was at a loss, and Mikey thought he had finally stopped this, but then it was like her bubble headed brain actually got an idea.

"Wait! I saw this docuthingy on birds the other day when I accidentally clicked onto one of the learning channels instead of MTV to watch Jersey Shore!"

Amber dragged Gerard into the kitchen and poured a cup of milk tsking that it was fat free.

"Little kittens need whole milk. I guess your mommy is out buying that too. Oh well, this works better for me."

Amber pulled Gerard out and down the hall carrying the milk.

"Which one is your room Kitten?"

Gerard looked back over his shoulder.

"Back there."

He said, wide eyed.

"I go sleeps in the basement."

"All alone is a scary basement?"

Amber's face of shock would make anyone crack up, but somehow Gerard kept it together. Amber started to lead Gerard to the door.

"Wait...Amber, what about the movie?"

"We can go to a later showing; right now I need to make sure this little kitten gets his milk."

"But but but, how are you going to do that without a bottle?!"

Mikey was on the verge of stuttering now.

"Silly, I'm gonna do it like the mama birds do and feed him with my mouth."

Mikey tried to say anything else, but instead was at a loss as he watched his little brother walk down the basement steps with his sure bet. The door closed and Mikey collapsed on the couch.

"Fuck my life."

*

*

*

Mikey must have fallen asleep on the sofa cause the next sound he hears is a door opening. He looks up and sees a very disheveled blonde leaving his brother's room. She has a dazed look and a smile on her face. Well, his brother did used to be popular at one point.

"Oh hey Mikey Mouse, you brother is doing much better and seems to be back to normal and not upset anymore. We can go to the movie now."

"Uh...sure, do you want your shirt?"

"Nah, your brother lent me this cool one with some band on it."

"Okay, well I am going to just let him know we are leaving."

Amber sighed contentedly. Mikey made his way down the basement stairs.

"You must think you are pretty slick huh?"

Mikey stood with his hands folded across his chest looking at his brother sitting up in bed with no shirt on and he bets no pants either. Gerard smirked.

"Yeah, and Amber's pretty _slick_ too…if you catch my drift."

He winked at his brother and waved.

"Guess you better go. Don't want to keep her waiting."

"You're a fucking jerk! How could you fuck her?!"

"What Mikey, you need a diagram? Is it _that_ long since you got a girl to touch your cock?"

"Why you little shit!"

Mikey went to tackle Gerard when Amber called him.

"We are not done with this."

Mikey walked up the stairs plotting his revenge.

Gerard laughed and lay back on his bed. Well, _today_ certainly took a turn for the better.

* * *

Frank was exhausted. He stripped off his sweat soaked shirt and flopped onto the bed.

"Hey, you got anything to drink here?"

"Yeah."

Frank opened his mini fridge and pulled out two bottles of water tossing it to the nameless boy. He guzzled his own down before realizing that he now had a lap full of nameless boy.

"So, now what do we do?"

Frank smirked.

"I can think of a few things."

He took the boy's water and placed it on his nightstand. He then flipped them over and pushed him down on the XL twin that the college provides.

"Is your roommate going to come back anytime soon?"

Frank smirked again.

"Don’t have one."

* * *

Mikey crept into Gerard's room knowing his pills made him extra sleepy. He had the dictionary in his hands. He walked up to the bed and took aim. He then dropped the heavy book on Gerard's knee.

"AHHHHHHHH!"

Gerard shot upright in his bed, his eyes wide and already filling with tears, and his hands grasping frantically at the pain that tore through his leg. He gasped and yelped, rolling around in agony. Through his tears, he saw Mikey stood at the side of his bed, laughing his head off.

"M-Michael! You C-COCKSTAIN!"

He shouted, reaching out with one hand, trying to punch his brother's balls. He missed!

"You're pathetic. The only way you could get laid now is through a fucking lie to an airhead like Amber."

"You lied to her first! I just used _your_ lie!"

"You didn't have to feed into it!"

Gerard groaned reaching for his pills.

"You told her I had brain damage! Why _wouldn't_ I use that?"

"I was using the sympathy card to get laid!"

"Funny that. me too!"

Gerard smirked.

Mikey looked at Gerard and then started to laugh.

"We are a pair aren't we?"

Gerard rolled his eyes.

"I learned from you."

He popped two pills in his mouth and swallowed them dry.

"But was the book really necessary?"

"Yeah, sorry, that was childish, Let me take a look."

Mikey sat down on the end of the bed and lifted the covers to look at Gerard's knee. He touched it carefully checking for any major damage. Gerard yelped, pulling back sharply, fresh tears in his eyes.

"Shhh, easy Gee, let me see if I did any real damage."

After touching it here and there and humming he stood up.

"I'm going to get an ice pack. It is a little bruised and there is some swelling, but the height I dropped the book at would be like you falling on it. Just slightly inflamed."

Gerard nodded, sniffing and wiping his eyes on his blanket.

"Okay thanks Mikes."

Mikey went up and came back down with a pack that he cracked to make cold. He carefully laid it on Gerard's knee.

"So how was she?"

Gerard smirked.

"To tell the truth, you had a lucky escape."

He laughed.

"Oh man really?"

Gerard nodded.

"All tongue and teeth, and wanted me to call her _mommy_. Fuckin' weird."

"She's got a few kinks huh?"

"Yeah, just none that are that sexy. I mean, she got me off and all, but I wouldn't go there again."

"Well then, thanks for saving me the trouble."

Mikey patted Gerard's other leg.

"Hey, how about that movie I offered before?"

Gerard smiled.

"Sure, but I think you're gonna have to help me upstairs."

"Nah, I'll bring my lap top down, you can get more presentable while I am gone."

Mikey got up and made his way to the stairs.

Gerard rolled his eyes again, awkwardly moved his legs off the edge of the bed and struggled to his feet. He took just one step, and his leg gave way beneath him.

"AEEEEEEEE!"

He screamed. He just couldn't hold it in!

"Gerard!"

Mikey ran over and grabbed his brother before he hit the ground.

"I got you Gee."

Gerard gripped Mikey's arms and whimpered, tears streaming down his cheeks.

"I _h-hate_ this, Mikes!"

He sobbed.

"I know you do Gee. I wish we had the money back then to fix it."

Mikey knew that now Gerard needed an even more expensive procedure to correct the additional damage of the last two years on his knee.

"Why didn't I j-just stop?"

Gerard buried his face in his brother's chest as Mikey helped him back onto his bed.

"I sh-should've s-stopped!"

"What's going on down here?"

Donna came down the steps.

"Why are you interrupting your brother's studying Gerard?"

Gerard pulled himself from Mikey's arms.

"Cos I'm just a waste of space loser."

He muttered, laying down and rolling over, putting his back toward the room and curling up as much as the pain in his knee would allow.

"Mom..."

"Michael, come on, you have an exam to study for and we need to talk about your upcoming marriage."

"Mom, I have not even asked her!"

It was a losing battle. Mikey sighed and after taking one more look at his brother in pain he followed his mother up the stairs. Gerard squeezed his eyes shut tight, more tears slipping free. Sometimes, he honestly _hated_ his mother. After a couple of minutes crying silently and hugging his pillow to his chest, Gerard rolled over and grabbed his bottle of pills. He _knew_ he'd only just taken some, but he needed to feel nothing right now. He needed to be numb. Opening the bottle, he poured six of the tiny white pills into his palm, stared at them for a moment, then swallowed them all, choking slightly on the chalky coating. He looked into the bottle. There was another couple dozen pills left, and he wondered, absently, if that would be enough to kill him. Sighing in defeat and annoyance at his own cowardice, Gerard put the lid back on the bottle and returned it to his nightstand, then lay back and closed his eyes.

"Not today."

 

 


	4. Just Look at All That Pain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mikey slumped down.
> 
> “That’s why I am glad he has you Frank. He needs you more than he realizes. Someone that accepts him for who he is.”
> 
> “I would never expect him to be anyone else.”
> 
> Mikey smiled.
> 
> “I’m glad Frank, I’m really glad.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone!
> 
> So Frank and Gerard are in a budding friendship, bu what happens when Gerard's past gets involved?
> 
> Please enjoy guys! ^-^

* _**Time Stamp: One Week Later***_

"Okay, so after all that X = what Gerard?"

"Umm..."

Gerard frowned at the paper.

"14?"

He guessed.

"Close Gee, you have to divide by two first and you get?"

"12?"

"No no no Gee, come on! 14 divided by 2 is?"

"7!  X=7. Right?"

Gerard looked up, hopefully.

"Yes!"

"Keep it down boys."

"Sorry ma'am."

Frank looked down as he was admonished by the librarian.

"Interfering bitch."

Gerard muttered under his breath. He looked down at the next math problem.

"Y'know, I should _know_  this stuff!  I _swear_  I used to be good at this!"

He banged his head down on the table in frustration.

"It's hopeless, I’m a lost cause!"

He looked up at Frank.

"Run! Save yourself while you still can!"

He dead panned.

"Gerard, you are not hopeless or a lost cause, trust me."

Frank looked at his watch.

"Damn, I hate that the place closes earlier now that it is getting closer to winter."

He started to gather up his books.

"Wait but..."

Gerard panicked slightly.

"We're not done, and I got that test soon!"

"Well we can always come to the library early before classes."

"Uh,  I guess."

Gerard frowned as he packed his things away, then looked up.

"Hey, why don't you come back to mine for dinner? I'm sure my mum wouldn't mind. After all, you're the guy that's going to get me to pass! Then we can do some more work there."

He looked down, hesitantly.

"I mean…only if you want to, you don't _have_ to."

He sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. He used to be better at talking to people than this. Frank looked at Gerard and gave a genuine smile.

"Sure, I would love to."

"Really?"

Gerard asked, the disbelief clear in his voice.

"Yes really."

Frank giggled.

"But, I don’t eat meat, is that okay?"

"Uh, yeah, sure.. I went veggie last year, so Mum's used to it."

He swung his bag onto his shoulder, staggering a little under the weight, and cursed as pain tore through his knee from the movement.

"Fuck!"

He least one hand on the table as he tried to catch his breath.

"Here Gee, let me help you."

Frank grabbed the bag from the boy and hoisted it on his own back. He then put an arm around his waist.

"Lean on me okay?"

Gerard hesitated, then put his arm across Frank's shoulders.

"Thanks."

He said through gritted teeth.

"I'll take my pills when we get to your car."

Frank was a little concerned. He knew Gerard took some before they started. Could he take more that fast? He was in pain though. Frank shook the thought off.

"Sure, I have a bottle of water in the car. Hey and this way after dinner we can study in your room and you can sit in your bed if you want to be more comfortable. Gerard smiled as they headed out the door.  

* * *

Mikey heard a car pull up and knew it was Gerard. He jumped up to get the door, but was surprised when he was not alone. Gerard hobbled up to the door, a pained smile on his face as Frank followed behind him, carrying Gerard's bag for him again.

"Hi Mikey, this is Frank my tutor."

"Hey Frank, nice to finally meet you."

"Nice to meet you too."

Gerard moved past his brother.

"Is mom in the kitchen Mikey?"

"Yeah, I think so."

Frank walked in and looked around the place. It was bigger on the inside then the outside. He saw the photos along the wall...none of them were of Gerard. It was all pictures of the older brother and his accomplishments. Gerard limped into the kitchen and saw his mother sat at the kitchen table, drinking a cup of coffee, and reading a magazine.

"Hi mom."

"What did you do now Gerard? Honestly, you cause yourself more undue pain than necessary and...oh hello."

Frank walked into the kitchen and the tirade on Gerard stopped.

"Hi Mrs. Way, I'm Linda's son Frank."

"Oh Frank. Nice to finally meet you. Thank you so much for dealing with my son and his inability to do well in school."

Gerard looked down at the floor, his face burning with embarrassment.

"Can.. Can Frank stay for dinner? We have more work to do, and the library closed early."

"I am sure that he has more important things to do then continue studying with you Gerard."

Frank was shocked. His mother told him how she talked about her son in the office, but he did not think it was this bad.

"Actually Mrs. Way, Gerard is making amazing progress and he wants to do well on this midterm coming up, so I do not mind studying the extra time if it means he will get the best grade possible."

"Well aren't you sweet Frank. Of course you can stay."

"Thank you Mrs. Way. I should let you know though that I am a vegetarian like Gerard."

"Oh! Well I don’t mind cooking something different for you Frank. It is usually tiresome coming up with other foods for Gerard, but at least I know the whole thing will get eaten this time and not go to waste. The way he nibbles on his meals, it is a wonder he has gained so much weight and..."

"I'm gonna go change."

Gerard mumbled to no one in particular. He couldn't listen to his mother's bile anymore. He headed toward his room. Frank watched Gerard take off clearly upset.

"Humph, as usual. So Frank, sit down and tell me about yourself while Gerard is busy."

"I'm going to freshen up for dinner."

Donna looked at Mikey and her demeanor changed completely. Frank was appalled.

"Okay sweetheart."

Mikey left Frank and his mom and went to find his brother. Gerard's hand shook as he tipped two little white pills into his palm. He was sat on his bed with his back to the door.

"I will _not_ I></I> cry. I will NOT CRY. Shit."

He sobbed as tears slipped from his eyes and splashed onto his lap.

"Gee..."

Gerard gasped, jumping at his brother's unexpected voice. Slipping the pill bottle back into his nightstand drawer, Gerard turned his head. His eyes were red and a little puffy, and his cheeks were wet.

"M-Mikes?"

"Gee, when did you last take your pills?"

Mikey walked over and sat down on the bed.

"This morning?"

It came out more as a question, than an answer.

"I just worry about you Gee. It's so easy to get addicted to them."

Gerard laughed.

"Addicted? Don't be silly Mikey.. I only take what it says on the bottle."

He popped the pills into his mouth and swallowed them down dry.

"Now,  I'm gonna get changed, so unless you wanna stay and stare at my butt...?"

He let his words hang unfinished in the air.

"Alright little bro, if you are sure."

Mikey wasn't sure though, and he needed to be. Maybe Frank would know the answer.

*

*

*

"So son, tell me about the meeting with the board of directors again.

Frank could understand why Gerard only nibbled at his food. The whole conversation had been about Mikey and his accomplishments. Gerard sighed and pushed his plate away.

"Can I be excused?"

His mother was a stickler for etiquette.

"I'm not really hungry."

"Of course you aren't. Thank goodness Frank is here to eat all the left overs

"Can I go?"

Donna waved her hand dismissing him.

"Actually Mrs. Way, I am quite full and would like to get started on Gerard's studying."

Gerard looked back and forth between Frank and his mother. _This_ was gonna be interesting.

"Well of course dear, don’t push yourself. I can wrap up your left overs. The sooner you finish with Gerard, the faster you can get home."

Gerard pushed back from the table and stood up, his fingers clutching the edge of the table so hard that his knuckles turned white. He grumbled as he turned to leave the room.

"So impolite and ungrateful. Maybe you can teach him some of your wonderful manners while you are here."

Gerard rolled his eyes as he walked away.  
  
“Thank you again for the food. Hey, where is your bathroom?”

“Here Frank, I’ll show you.”  
  
Mikey gets up and leads Frank down the hall.  
  
“Okay Mikey, what the fuck is going on? Why is your mom such a bitch to Gerard?”  
  
“Shhh, follow me.”  
  
Frank follows Mikey to the attic stairs. They climb it quietly. Frank is worried about spiders, but he has a feeling that what Mikey is going to show him is going to be worth overcoming his fear. They walk to the corner of the attic and Mikey pulls out some boxes that say Gerard on them.  
  
“Here, take a look.”  
  
Frank gets on his knees and opens the box. There, right on top is a picture of Gerard in a football uniform.  
  
“Really? Football? That explains the jocks that were picking on him.”  
  
Frank moves though the photos and sees pictures of Gerard with his team, the very same guys that were picking on him. He also sees pictures of Gerard with a familiar blonde.  
  
“She was also with the guys too.”  
  
“That’s Taylor. She was Gerard’s girlfriend when Gerard was the quarter back. She was the cliché head cheerleader.”  
  
Frank looks at all the trophies and medals.  
  
“So what happened?”  
  
“Gerard sustained an injury in an important game. He ignored it in favor of continuing to play. They won the game, but Gerard ended up in the hospital. The surgery for it was covered…until they found out that Gerard exacerbated the injury. Now the surgery would cost $11,000. Our parents did not have that money so Gerard loss his scholarship as well as his place on the team. Everything kind of snowballed after that till the team shunned him, his girlfriend dumped him for the new quarter back, and he nearly flunked out of his senior year.”  
  
Frank found pictures of Gerard with his mom and dad laughing and smiling,  
  
“So when he was no longer their golden boy, they started treating him like shit?”  
  
“Pretty much and that made Gerard depressed that the family was no longer supporting him. Even I fell into it. I did not get much attention even though I was an accelerated student and going into the medical field. Gerard always outshined me even though his grades were mediocre. I took the opportunity to rag on him. I was horrible to him.”  
  
Mikey slumped down.  
  
“That’s why I am glad he has you Frank. He needs you more than he realizes. Someone that accepts him for who he is.”  
  
“I would never expect him to be anyone else.”  
  
Mikey smiled.  
  
“I’m glad Frank, I’m really glad.”  

* * *

Frank and Mikey came down the stairs just as quietly.

"Thanks Mikey."

"Sure Frank, but don’t say anything."

"I won't."

Frank headed toward Gerard's room. He never would have guessed that all the spaces on the walls were where Gerard’s photos were.

"Football of all things."

Now the confrontation that day made sense. And that girl was his before the accident.

"So much hidden pain."

Frank schooled his face and knocked on Gerard's door.

"Come in?"

Gerard called from his spot on the bed. He was sat in his skeleton onesie, with his back against the headboard, and his legs under the covers. He was slouched down, even though he knew he'd have a stiff neck tomorrow.

"Hey, sorry, I was helping Mikey with something and I wanted you to get a chance to change...which you did. It looks cute on you."

Gerard felt his cheeks heat up, but he laughed it off, rolling his eyes.

"Yeah, whatever. So shall we get on with math, or start on something else?"

Frank yawned slightly.

"Sounds good."

He pulled out the book and crawled into the bed at the foot.

"Okay, so first we should go back over the quadratic equations..."

*

*

*

"Hey Gee when did you..."

Mikey walked in and had to stifle a laugh. Gerard was asleep at one end of the bed curled in his favorite pajamas and Frank was at the other end covered in math and English papers. Mikey grabbed a blanket off the floor and covered Frank with it. He then tucked Gerard in. Gerard's shifted and a bottle of pills fell out of his hand. Mikey picked it up and looked at the label. It was from a different pharmacy then his usual. He opened up the draw and saw several other bottles, some empty, some almost empty. Each one had a different pharmacy and had five refills on them.

"Oh Gee."

Mikey put them all back. Now was not the time to talk about it, He went and grabbed Frank's phone and found his mother's. He explained what was happening and assured her that Frank was safe. He then returned the phone and turned out the lights.  

* * *

Gerard woke up with a loud yelp as he fell out the side of his bed. Luckily, he landed on his _good_  knee, but it still hurt, and his bad knee twisted slightly, the pain making him feel sick. His eyes watering, Gerard dragged himself up off the floor and staggered to the bathroom. He barely made it to the bathroom in time before he was throwing up what little was in his stomach from the day before. Once he was done, Gerard flushed the toilet then quickly brushed his teeth before walking back into his bedroom. In the doorway, he faltered in his steps.

"Frank?"

He muttered, unsurely. He had thought that Frank would go home. Why would he have stayed? Was it intentional, or did he just fall asleep? Gerard walked awkwardly over to the bedside and looked down at the sleeping boy. Frank was curled up on his side with text books and papers around him, and a blanket twisted up with his legs. He was snoring quietly, and his glasses were laying open, just in front of his face. Did they fall off; cause if they did, then that would mean he almost _definitely_  fell asleep, and didn't mean to stay. Gerard sighed. Had he  _really_  been desperate enough for a friend to believe that his tutor was one? Bob really was right, he was nothing but a pathetic loser. Suddenly Gerard just wanted to take a handful of his pills, and sleep for a week or two, or forever. Going to his bedside, he pulled out a bottle and checked the label. It said, 1-2 tablets every 4-6 hours.  DO NOT exceed 12 tablets in a 24 hour period. Gerard opened the bottle and tipped out its remaining contents. Just eight pills. Slightly disappointed that he couldn't end his pain without opening another bottle, Gerard sighed, took two pills, and returned the rest to their container, before dropping it back in his drawer, and closing it quietly. Despite everything, he wasn't quite there yet. Lying back down on the bed, his foot accidentally collided with Frank's shin.

"Oops."

Gerard whispered.

"Sorry."

But he could see Frank starting to stir now.

"Mmmm, Rasputin, come here boy, keep daddy company."

Gerard's eyebrows shot up.

"What the...?"

He giggled.

Frank patted the bed next to him while rubbing his nose in the sheets. Gerard bit his lip to stop himself from laughing, but wasn't really sure what to do, besides watch.

"Raz?"

Frank opened his eyes rubbing them. Gerard let out a loud laugh now, but quickly covered his mouth with his hands when he accidentally snorted.

"Gee, why are you in my room?"

"Your…Frank, this is _my_  room! You must've fallen asleep here."

"Oh...oh! Oh man, I'm so sorry Gee!"

Frank started to scramble out of the bed and fell with is face and chest on the floor and his legs still up in the air on the bed. He looked up at Gerard sleepy eyed.

"You still look cute in that."

Gerard rolled his eyes and shook his head, extending a hand toward his fallen companion.

"Suuuure."

Frank reached up to Gerard, but the momentum pulled them both down.

"Oww!"

Gerard cried out as he landed on top of the smaller male, and his knee hit the floor with force.

"Gee! Oh fuck are you okay?"

Frank ran a hand up Gerard's leg and gently touched his knee.

"Do you need a pill; should I get you some ice?"

"Ow ow owww."

Gerard whimpered, unwanted tears slipping from his eyes. Frank held Gerard tight and moved him from on top of him to his lap. It was slightly awkward with Gerard being bigger than him, but the way Gerard was curled up, he fit nicely.

"I'm so sorry Gee."

"Hey Gee I...what happened?"

Mikey came over and knelt down.

"He tried to help me out of bed and I pulled him down by accident."

Mikey carefully examined Gerard's knee.

"I'll be right back."

Mikey left and Frank looked at Gerard's tear soaked face.

"I'm sorry Gee, I really am."

Gerard's teeth were ground hard together, and his eyes were squeezed tight shut. He was shaking and sobbing. He felt like an idiot, and was pretty sure that Frank would think so too.

"Okay Gee, hang on."

Mikey came back.

"We have to get him out of this."

Frank nodded and Mikey started to unzip the onesie. When he got it low enough he froze. Frank looked and saw that Gerard was not wearing any underwear. He pulled his shirt off and covered Gerard with it. Mikey looked at the smaller boy with shock.

"Whoa! You have tattoos!"

"Yeah, kind of."

Mikey went back to working on his brother's knee. Gerard kept his eyes closed. He could hear what Mikey and Frank were saying, but he didn't want to see the pity and disgust on their faces. His knee hurt so bad, that he was pretty sure he was gonna pass out from it. Mikey left once more and returned with a hot compress. He laid it on Gerard' knee gently. Gerard gasped out feeling himself slipping from consciousness. The last thing he heard was Frank calling his name, then nothing.

 


	5. Two Men As God Made Us

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Mikey.. Frank's here! I think he's in trouble!"
> 
> He looked back at Frank, seeing him wrestling the taller guy against the wall.
> 
> "He needs help!"
> 
> "Not unless he's into threesomes Gee."
> 
> "Threesome?!  What are you talking about?"
> 
> Gerard looked from Frank to Mikey, then back again in confusion. Mikey put an arm around his little brother.
> 
> "See Gee, when two people love each other...or just want.to get laid..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone!
> 
> So I am trying to get in as much updates as I can this week casue I have a busy weekend. My lovely Fic Pet _***RedRomRomance***_ is coming to visit me on Thursday, we have Halloween on Saturday, and then Frank concert on Monday. Plus I have to get as much school work done before Saturday as i can so I can relax and enjoy my weekend and visit! ^-^
> 
> In this chapter Gerard finds out that there is more to his friends Frank than he thought. How he reacts though...
> 
> Please Enjoy! ^-^
> 
> Title of chapter taken from "Do you Know What They do to Guys Like Us In Prison" ~ My Chemical Romance

Gerard had gotten used to having Frank around. He counted him as a friend...his only one, but Mikey could see that he would light up when Frank called or dropped by. They started hanging out even when school was on Thanksgiving break. That is when Mikey knew that Frank was good for his younger brother. Their parents were getting worse, especially their mom. No matter how Gerard's grades improved it was never good enough for her.

"He has it in him to do better "

"Mom, he made a huge jump from D to B in the last two months. That is better than he did when he was doing football and you never nagged him then."

"Yeah, but then he was going to be someone. Now he is nobody so he has no excuses."

"Mom, he is someone."

"I don't want to talk about this anymore."

Donna dumped her coffee and grabbed her purse leaving for work.

"So.."

Gerard said glumly from his bedroom doorway, his eyes pointed to the floor.

"…I'm nobody now! Good to know!"

He limped over to the coffee maker and turned it on.

"Come on Gee, she doesn't mean it."

"She does. You know she does Mikey."

Gerard got his favorite mug down from the cupboard and hobbled over to the fridge for milk.

"It's not like she's wrong."

Mikey felt like shit. He helped Gerard to feel like this. He just never understood how cruel it was.

"Hey, so I was thinking, how about we hang out Saturday. I have off and no other plans. Are you hanging with Frank?"

Gerard looked up, a small smile touching his lips.

"No, Frank's got some family dinner or something. Relatives over from Italy."

He chuckled.

"He wanted me to help him get out of it, but his mum vetoed every plan we made."

"Awesome...well not awesome, but you know."

Gerard smiled weakly, pouring his now brewed coffee, and adding a dash of milk.

"So what do you want to do?"

"How about we go to a movie and grab something after?"

"Ok then, sounds good."

Gerard nodded. He missed hanging out with his brother, but a part of him wished that Frank's Italian family would fail to show up, so he could hang with him instead. Frank had never dropped a book on his bad knee, or hurt him in any way.

"Okay!"

Mikey kissed Gerard and left for work.

*

*

*

Gerard was sat on the front porch with a coffee in one hand, and a cigarette in the other. He'd only been home from college about half an hour, and he was enjoying the peace and quiet before his mother returned from work. She was due any minute, and he wanted to finish his smoke before she got back, so he could not be there! What he didn't expect, was for Bob and Taylor to turn up with their band of thugs. Gerard rolled his eyes as he saw them walking along the road toward his front driveway. Dropping his butt on the ground, he struggled to pull himself up to his feet. He had to get inside. He didn't want a repeat of when they'd cornered him this morning outside the coffee shop on the way to college.

"Hey Gee, what's your hurry?"

Bob jogged up and blocked Gerard in.

"I got…stuff to do!"

Gerard said, lamely, finding himself surrounded.

"Where's you little lap dog?"

"My…what?"

Gerard looked at Bob curiously.

"You know that little shit you been hanging out with."

"Maybe he got smart and dropped him."

Taylor laughed as she leaned on the porch railing. Gerard looked down the road. For the first time in a _long_ time, he wished his mum would get home early. He stayed silent. He didn't know what to say to them.

"Hey, is there a problem Gee?"

Frank pulled his car into the driveway. Gerard's eyes lit up with relief, so much better than his mum!

"Hi Frankie, no, they were just, uh leaving?"

He trailed off uncertainly. Bob hit the banister hard.

"Yeah, guess we can leave the two lovebirds alone."

Gerard frowned.

"We're not..."

He started to argue, but Bob and the others were already walking away. Gerard sighed and turned to look at Frank.

"Thanks for that."

"I'm just glad that I forgot one of my books."

Frank laughed and Gerard smiled.

"Are you still stuck going to that family thing?"

"Yeah, but I am free after if you want to..."

Donna pulled up.

"Oh Frank, Gerard said you were not coming today?"

Gerard could've quite happily strangled his mother right then.

"Frank forgot a book."

Gerard muttered.

"Oh okay. I knew he had a family dinner and nothing is more important than family

Gerard scoffed quietly, rolling his eyes.

"Yes, but friends are important too."

Frank smiled at Gerard and again Gerard smiled back, but hung his head as he saw the look his mother shot him.

"Yes, well you should get going."

Gerard didn't want Frank to leave, but he knew that Frank probably had much better places to be than hanging out with the lame loser.

"I'll see you later Frank."

He murmured, his eyes trained on his grubby sneakers.

"Sure Gee. Later."

Gerard sighed as Frank got back in his car and drove away.

"Gerard, don't just stand there. The least you can do is hold the door since you can't carry any of the groceries."

"I can help!"

He offered, reaching for one of her many bags.

"No you are no help Gerard."

Gerard bit back a snarky reply and simply held the door. He considered just letting it hit her in the ass, but decided that he couldn't be bothered. Once she was inside, he followed her to the kitchen.

"Can I help put the shopping away?"

"Jesus Gerard, what are you? A lap dog looking for attention? I said I do not need your help."

"What's going on?"

Mikey walked in with a tray of coffee.

"Hello mother."

He kissed her on the cheek.

"Hey Gee, you ready to go?"

Mikey handed one of the coffees to him.

"Tis the season for peppermint lattes."

"Where do you have to take him now?"

Mikey took a sip of his latte.

"Nowhere, we are hanging out today.

"Michael, you have better things to do than waste time..."

Mikey knew she stopped herself from saying "with him" and he knew Gerard did too.

"It's not a waste of time. Brothers should do things together too."

"Whatever, just.help.me with the groceries before you go."

"Sure mom. Gee give me a hand?"

"Apparently, I can't!  I offered, but lap dogs aren't worth shit around here!"

Gerard huffed, doing his best to hold back tears as he hobbled toward his room.

"Don't worry about the movies Mikey. I'm sure you have better things to do."

He disappeared through his door and down the stairs. He could really do with a couple pills right about now.

"Why Mom, why?"

Mikey dropped the groceries and ran to Gerard's room. Gerard had swallowed down four pills and was now curled up on his side, on his bed, with his pillow over his head as sobs wracked his body. All he wanted was just one kind word. Was _that_  too much to ask from his own mother?

"How many did you take Gee?"

Mikey came in the room and sat down rubbing his brother's leg in a soothing gesture.

"Leave me alone.."

Gerard whimpered.

"You don't need a worthless lap dog."

"Gee..."

Mikey pulled Gerard gently into his arms.

"You can turn to me instead of the pills. Same with Frank."

Gerard tried to pull away, wriggling against his brother’s hold. After a moment, he relaxed and allowed himself to be held and rocked, then lifted his face to meet Mikey's eye.

"I'm sorry Mikes."

He sighed.

"She just doesn't stop. Why can't she be nice just once?"

"I don't know Gee."

Gerard pulled away, sitting up.

"I'm,  I'm still up for seeing a movie, if you are?"

Mikey smiled.

"Yeah, let's go."

*

*

*

".. And did you notice the way Maxwell always treated Jane as a friend, even though it was _obvious_  that they were meant to be together?"

Gerard ranted happily about the movie they'd just left, as they headed across the street toward the bar on the corner.

"He was _so_  oblivious!"

Mikey just smiled and laughed at Gerard's gestures. It was good to see him happy.

"I am starving!"

Mikey and Gerard entered the pub to a lot of noise.

"Hey, what's going on?"

The hostess leaned in to Mikey's ear.

"Local bands playing a show."

"Oh, thanks doll."

She giggled and Mikey winked.

"Show you two to a table?"

"You can show me anything you want baby."

Gerard rolled his eyes. Mikey was _so_ cheesy when he was trying to get laid. The music stopped to applause and shouting.

"Hey Gee, let’s go check it out."

Mikey turned to the hostess, taking out one of his business cards.

"Use that next time you need a doctor. I got the perfect treatment for what ails you."

He slipped it in her bodice style bra, which was peeking out of her button up blouse.

"Thank you..."

She looked at the card.

"...Dr. Michael Way."

" _Doctor_  Michael Way?"

Gerard whispered, raising an eyebrow in amusement at his brother.

"You graduated and didn't tell me?  For shame."

He snickered, shaking his head as they headed toward the stage area.

"Fuck you Gee."

Mikey said playfully.

"You wish, jerk-off!"

They found a seat and Mikey made sure Gerard was comfortable.

"I'll get us some drinks."

He walked off. Gerard took a minute to look around. The bar was a touch better than a dive, but only just. There was a small stage at the back, a bar along one wall, tables along the opposite, and an open area in front of the stage that would either count as dance floor, or mosh pit, depending on what type of music was being played. Gerard wasn't sure what kind of band he was going to be subjected to tonight, but he had fairly eclectic tastes, so as long as they didn't totally suck, he should have an ok night. On the little table he found himself sat at, there was a laminated, two-sided menu. Out of interest, he picked it up and scanned what there was on offer, regretting his decision almost immediately, when he saw that they had Rocky Mountain Oysters as their number three dish. Feeling slightly sick, Gerard put the menu down and peered off into the crowd, trying to locate his brother.

* * *

"Frankie, I wanna dance more."

"Come on babe, I'm tired and need a drink."

Gerard saw Mikey heading back toward him. Behind Mikey, and a bit to his left, Gerard saw Frank. He was sat at the bar, next to a taller looking boy with a large forehead, and a quiff. Gerard _almost_  didn't recognize Frank, as he wasn't dressed in his usual button-down and pressed jeans. Frank looked punk!

"Fraaaankieee."

"Baby, if you whine I have to punish you."

The boy smirked and pressed Frank against the wall. He trailed his finger down Frank's chest.

"Maybe I want you to."

Frank smirked and reversed them.

"Oh really?" He shoved his face in the boy's neck.

Gerard stood quickly as Mikey reached the table, a jolt of pain going through his knee. Frank appeared to be in a fight with quiff guy. Gerard wanted to help.

Frank knew what he was doing. He could feel the boy's legs failing him as his knees gave way.

"Something wrong baby"?

The boy made a low moan. Frank moved his way up to his jaw and then his ear leaving wet kisses.

"Still want to dance?"

The boy grabbed him and kissed him. Frank knew he won.

* * *

"Mikey.. Frank's here! I think he's in trouble!"

Gerard pointed past his brother's shoulder as he started to move forward.

"What? Frank? Where?"

Mikey turned away from the blonde he was talking to and smiled.

"Gee, Frank is fine, trust me."

"What?"

Gerard looked at his brother, confused.

"He's fighting!  He could get hurt!"

He looked back at Frank, seeing him wrestling the taller guy against the wall.

"He needs help!"

"Not unless he's into threesomes Gee."

Mikey gives a card to the blonde and she winks and walks away swinging her hips.

"Man Gee, being a doctor is going to.be the good life."

"Threesome?!  What are you talking about?"

Gerard looked from Frank to Mikey, then back again in confusion. Mikey put an arm around his little brother.

"See Gee, when two people love each other...or just want.to get laid..."

* * *

Frank was determined the boy was going to cum just from the friction of his leg.

"That's it baby, cum for me. Show me how dirty you can be."

"Oh fuck Frankie. Please, wanna suck you off."

"Mmmm, I can get behind that idea...or rather in front of it."

The boy pushed Frank away.

"Let.me hit the bathroom first."

"Sure babe, meet you in the alley."

Gerard pushed Mikey's arm off his shoulder.

"Don't be gross Mikes."

He looked back at Frank.

"See? Frank's walking away."

Gerard took a sip of the soda Mikey got him.

"I'm going for a smoke. You coming or you going for a record number of phone numbers tonight?"

* * *

Frank made it to the alley and leaned against the wall sparking up. He wanted to mellow out for this.

"Hey baby, ready for me?"

The boy saunter up and boxed Frank in.

"So you think you can Top me?"

The boy smirked and leaned in.

 "Maybe."

Frank reached for his shirt.

* * *

Gerard pushed quietly out of the side door, and into the grubby alleyway. It smelled of rotten Chinese food from the takeout restaurant next door, feet, and piss.Not the nicest place, but he could smoke quick. He was just about to light up, when he heard a noise from further down the alley, behind some overflowing dumpsters. A moan. Gerard was going to ignore it, but then he heard it again. Maybe someone was hurt? Creeping deeper into the dark, he peered around the corner, and his eyes grew wide at what he saw.

Once again Frank left the boy a mess. He broke their kiss and began to push the boy down to his knees. He went willingly of course.

"Use your teeth baby, show me your talent."

The boy reached forward and took Frank's zipper in his teeth, dragging it down slowly. He fished Frank's semi out and licked the head. Frank groaned from how good he looked.

"Fuck my mouth, use me."

Frank said nothing. He fisted the boy's hair and slammed his hips forward. Gerard lost the ability to breathe. He stood there, wide eyed, with his cigarette hanging forgotten from his fingertips. What was happening? Why was Frank doing that? SINCE WHEN WAS FRANK GAY?!

The boy did have talent and Frank was not going to last.

"Close baby."

The boy nodded and doubled his efforts. It was not much longer till he moved to the head and sucked on it.

"Fuck baby...ah ah ah!"

Frank started to cum and the boy swallowed most and then let the last hit his lips and chin. Frank pulled the boy up and crashed their lips together as he ripped his pants open and shoved his hand in grabbing the boy's cock.

Gerard staggered backward, squeezing his eyes shut. He <I>didn't</I> just see that! He <I>didn't</I> just see that! He <I>didn't</I> just see that! Dropping his unlit smoke to the filthy ground, Gerard turned and stumbled back inside. He felt confused and betrayed, and numb. When he reached his and Mikey's table, he flopped down onto his chair, ignoring the red haired girl who was currently grinding her ass on his brother's lap. Gerard grabbed Mikey's beer off the table and brought it to his lips. Gerard <I>never</I> drank! He figured he had a good enough excuse to right now.

"Gerard!"

Mikey dumped the girl and grabbed the beer. It was empty.

"What the fuck are you doing!?"

Gerard turned stunned eyes toward his brother.

"Mikey I.. Frank.. He.. I.."

He stumbled, then trailed off.

"I wanna go home."

"Whoa, slow down, what about Frank?"

At that moment Frank walked by disheveled and satisfied.

"Oh, hey Mikey, hey Gee. Come to see the band?"

Gerard looked down at his hands. He couldn't look Frank in the eye.

"I'm.. Err.. I'm going home."

"Yeah, I'm worn out myself."

"You here on your own?"

Frank smiled at Mikey.

"Yup, flying solo."

Gerard stood up, looking at Mikey.

"I'll meet you outside. I need some air."

He turned and hobbled away through the crowd, toward the exit.

"Hang on Gee, I'll join you."

Gerard didn't answer, or look back. He needed to get out of there. He needed to think. Frank caught Gerard quickly of course and held the door for him.

"Err.. Thanks."

Gerard kept his eyes on the ground, and stuffed his hands into his jacket's pockets. Frank pushed through the crowd for them and found a place on the wall.

"Mind if I smoke, cause you said fresh air."

Gerard shrugged. He wanted to smoke himself, but he thought he might toss his cookies if he did. Frank took the silence as an okay. He sparked up and inhaled deeply. As he blew out the smoke he looked at Gerard.

"You okay Gee? You look like you saw a ghost."

Then Frank worried it was Bob and his asshole brigade.

"Did Bob come around after I left?"

"No."

Gerard mumbled.

"I kinda had a run-in with mum. I don't wanna talk about it."

"Oh Gee, I'm sorry."

Frank pushed off the wall to give Gerard a reassuring hug. Gerard stiffened. He didn't hug back. Frank was taken back. Gerard never acted like that before.

"Gee...what's going on?"

Gerard could feel his throat constricting. He was trying to stay calm.

"I- I'm just not feeling too good."

"Hey, there you are."

Mikey joined them.

"Okay, well Mikey is with you so I..."

A boy, not the same as before, whistled and waved at Frank.

"...yeah, catch you later Mikey. See you Monday Gee."

Frank dropped his cigarette and ran to the boy. He wrapped an arm around his waist and shoved a hand in his back pocket.

Gerard huffed and looked away.

"Let's go."

He turned and started to limp toward home.

_***Time Stamp: Monday***_

Gerard couldn't sleep. He had to get up in three hours for school, and he hadn't slept a wink. It wasn't that Frank had lied to him, or anything, he just hadn't mentioned the fact that he was into guys. Gerard had never been friends with any gay people before. It kind of made him uncomfortable. Like, what if Frank was checking him out? What if Frank tried to come onto him?.. How should he react? Should he laugh it off as a joke, or punch him in the face? Gerard had never really thought of himself as homophobic, but then, he'd never really had to deal with a fag before. Gerard was dreading school even more than usual. Maybe he could skip or just spend the day hiding from Frank. He looked at his alarm clock, two and quarter hours. Damn, he would be the walking dead, living off coffee all day! This was gonna be bad!<hr />

Frank headed over to Gerard feeling a little uneasy. Something was bothering Gerard on Saturday, but he could not put his finger on it. He pulled into the parking lot of the college just as Gerard was coming out of the doors.

"Hey Gee, over here!"

Gerard's head snapped around as he heard his name called. Frank was just getting out of his car and waving at him. Gerard felt his heart pick up. He couldn't do this. He wasn't ready. He hadn't had enough time to think. Turning on his heel, he hobbled off toward the science labs. Frank wasn't sure if Gerard had something to do in the science labs or just didn't see him. He texted him.

*Hey, you got extra science today?*

*Gotta pick up something. I left something. I'll catch you later.*

*Oh, okay cool, I'll meet you at your house than.*

Gerard nodded, noncommittedly, then let the door shut between them and wondered just what the fuck he was supposed to do now, he had no business in the science labs today. Frank walked back to his car when his phone pinged. He looked at it and smiled. Since Gerard didn't need him right now, he might as well get some tail before he headed over.

*

*

*

Gerard walked off of the college campus and headed slowly down the street toward home. He'd spent every lesson that day in a daze, not listening to a word of his lectures. He was going to be studying with Frank, alone, in less than an hour. He wasn't sure he could handle that. He'd been trying to work out what to do, but the fact of the matter was that Frank was gay, and he hadn't told him. Gerard wasn't sure if they would've still become friends if he'd known. Trudging along the sidewalk, with his head down, and his hands stuffed in the oversized pockets of his coat, Gerard failed to see the car that pulled up a few feet ahead of him or the group of jocks that got out and headed his way. It was too late when he did. Two of them grabbed him and one shoved something in his mouth. He was then presented to Bob.

"Now, I think that we can finish our conversation uninterrupted."

Bob meant his fist was going to do the talking as he whaled into the middle of Gerard's chest. Gerard felt something crack. He was pretty sure it was a rib. His knees gave way, but the thugs were holding him up, so all he could do was go limp in their grasp, close his eyes, and pray for this to be over quick.

* * *

"Mmmm baby, I gotta go, I got an appointment."

"Please, just a few more minutes."

"No, but I can give you a ride though."

"Thanks doll otherwise I will be late, let me just find my other heel."

Frank watched as his friend with benefits Danni got dressed for his job as a bartender at a club. It was drag night and he made more tips when he dressed up too. Frank once asked if it was insulting, but Danni laughed.

"The queens actually get a kick out of it and give me tips and each week I improve a little more."

The piled in Frank's car and headed there. About two blocks from their destination, Danni looked out the window.

"Man, can you believe that and in broad daylight too."

Frank looked where Danni was pointing and slammed on the breaks.

"Holy shit, that's Gee!"

Frank ran the light turning to the right and drove right to them. Danni and he jumped out of the car, Danni's heels clacking along and jumped on the first guy holding Gerard while Frank rounded and went for Bob. Gerard felt the hands let go of him, then he crashed to the floor. Everything hurt, and when he tried to open his eyes, all he saw was blurry shapes and colors, and dark spots that were growing bigger by the second. He groaned as he curled in on himself, wrapping his arms around his head and trying not to puke. He choked, spots of red littering the sidewalk that he couldn't even see. The sounds of a fight were fading around him as he slipped closer toward unconsciousness. Was this it? Had Bob finally finished him off? Gerard whimpered as everything went black.

 


	6. The Best Dress That I Own

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Why didn't you tell me Frank?"
> 
> He asked, without looking up.
> 
> "Well you were kind of unconscious so I don't think you would have heard me, but I didn't think it was such a big deal."
> 
> "What?"
> 
> Gerard shook his head, finally looking up.
> 
> "NO! I mean, why didn't you tell me you're, you're gay?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone!
> 
> So yeah, this is I guess the lost chapter of this fic. Again if you never read this fic, it will not effect you, but if you had...sorry? This chapter will explain a lot more about the tension between Frank and Gerard. I don;t want to go into too much if you never read this, but oh baby, here comes the drama lama. ^0^
> 
> Please enjoy guys.
> 
> Chapter title taken from Give'em Hell Kid ~ My Chemical Romance

As Gerard started to wake, he began to hear muffled voices, and smell. Well, actually, he wasn't sure what he was smelling, but it was sweet and strong and somewhat overpowering. He kept his eyes shut, as he could see, even with them closed, that wherever he was, was very brightly lit. He used his other senses to try to work out what was going on, but everything was so muddled and confusing that nothing really made much sense to him. So he was in pain. He knew that much. Every inch of his body felt like he'd been put through a meat grinder. His head was pounding, he felt like his brain was ready to burst right out of his ears. His stomach, back, arms and legs all felt like he'd gone ten rounds in the ring with the Hulk.. Basically, he was a mess! But somehow, through all of that pain, it was still his knee that hurt the worst, like someone had grabbed his leg and just twisted it till everything was destroyed. The voices were getting clearer now, as he was regaining consciousness more. They were still quite hushed though, and he couldn't work out what anyone was saying. Gerard felt someone lean over him, and place what felt like a wet cloth on his forehead. The person brought with them a strong waft of that sickly sweet scent, and Gerard was pretty sure it was gonna make him hurl. A woman, obviously, was mopping his brow. Perhaps he should try opening his eyes now? Slowly, frightened of the light, Gerard opened his eyes, just a crack. He was not expecting what he saw.  Leaning over him, in full stage makeup, a Basque, panties and stockings, and a hairnet, the type worn underneath a wig, the " _woman_ ", was most definitely not a woman! Gerard shot upright with a surprised yelp that turned into a scream as pain ripped through him, and he turned to the side and puked on the floor. As he regained himself slightly, hearing many cries of "Eww!" and "Disgusting!" Gerard looked shakily around the room. It was a dressing room, from what he could tell, but not like the dressing rooms he remembered from his high school football days, no. This dressing room was filled with drag queens, in varying stages of undress and they were all now staring at him.

"Did, Did I die?"

He asked no one in particular.

"Is this Hell?"

"Not that I know of honey, although some of these outfits had to be created by a demon."

“Just cause you can't get your fat ass in that corset anymore..."

"Ladies ladies, enhance your calm."

Finally a familiar face. Frank walked in the room and all the girls flocked to him.

"Frankie."

"Frankie baby, where you been?"

"Yeah, we missed you."

Frank said his hellos and pushed through to Gerard.

"Hey Gee; I brought you your pills."

"F-Frank?.."

Gerard swallowed heavily.

"What the fucks going on? Where am I?"

"I was passing by your house when I saw Bob and those other assholes had jumped you, so me and my friend Danni took care of them."

At that point a beautiful woman walked up to Gerard, but when she spoke, the voice did not match the package...or rather it did.

"No worries honey, I don’t think that he is going to be procreating anytime soon."

Gerard's eyes widened and he realized he was supposed to speak next, but suddenly found the English language deserting him completely.

"S..uh..y..I..err.."

He stuttered out.

"He's cute Frankie."

"All right ladies, show time."

Danni leaned over and kissed Frank's cheek.

"Gotta go daddy, take care of our baby will ya?"

Frank smirked and laughed. He swatted Danni in the ass.

"Get out of here you freak."

"Takes one to know one honey."

Danni waved goodbye and he and the other girls left leaving Frank and Gerard alone. Frank went to the mini fridge and pulled out a bottle of water. He cracked the top and took and sip. He then handed it to Gerard along with his pill bottle. Gerard was pretty sure his head was about to go *boom*! He hesitantly took the bottle and pills, tipped a couple onto his hand, paused and added a third, then swallowed them back with a large gulp of water, choking slightly afterward. He never took his eyes off of Frank, as the other male stood; leaning on one of the dressing tables like it was the most natural thing in the world.

"Frank?"

He murmured, dryly.

"Why am I in…"

He waved his hand around, indicating the room.

"Ah, well I figured it was bad to take you back to your house in case your mom or brother were there and the club was not that far, plus Kiki and Satin Doll are registered RNs, so I knew you would be in good hands."

Frank took and water back and drank more.

"Um.. Who? What?"

Gerard was getting more confused by the second.

"Frank, how do you even _know_  these people?"

He tried to push himself up onto his feet.

"No, actually, forget it. Don't think I want to know."

He staggered against the wall, his legs feeling like jelly.

"I just wanna go home now..."

His knees gave out and he started to slide down the wall.

"How do I get out of here?"

"Easy Gee."

Frank went to help the boy up.

Gerard batted Frank's hands away.

"I'm fine."

He snapped.

"Get off!"

"Whoa whoa, what the fuck is up with you?!"

Frank stood with his hands on his hips.

Gerard put a hand to his forehead, shaking his head in confusion. He dropped his head into his hands, groaning slightly.

"Why didn't you tell me Frank?"

He asked, without looking up.

"Well you were kind of unconscious so I don't think you would have heard me, but I didn't think it was such a big deal."

"What?"

Gerard shook his head, finally looking up.

"NO! I mean, why didn't you tell me you're, you're gay?"

"What...is that what you...fuck, really Gerard, really?!"

Frank was pissed now. He thought that Gerard was worried about being in a gay club, now he realizes that he is just worried about being with someone that's gay.

"I didn't think it fucking mattered."

Gerard tried again to stand. His knees wobbled, but held him up.

"Just tell me where the damn exit is Frank."

He said through his teeth, grinding them against the pain.

"You know what...find it your goddamn self you piece of shit homophobic gimp!"

Frank pushed Gerard hard and stormed out of the room. He didn't stop to hear what his friend was saying as she got off the stage, he just left. He hopped in the car and drove off fighting the tears threatening to fall and cloud his vision.

* * *

Gerard whimpered as he found himself back on the floor of the dressing room. He could feel his eyes prickling with tears, but he wiped them away as the door opened and the drag queen from before sashayed into the room. He sniffed slightly and felt around in his pockets for any sign of his cellphone. It wasn't there.

"Oh honey, what did you say to him?"

Danni helped the boy up into one of the chairs.

He was surprisingly strong.

"I..."

Gerard swallowed, looking down at the floor.

"I don't even know."

He lied, knowing he'd fucked up.

"Do you, do you have a phone I could use to call my brother for a lift? I think I lost mine."

He sounded pathetic, even to his own ears.

"Sure honey."

Danni lifted up her dress and pulled her cell phone out of her garter. She handed it to the boy and smiled.

"You can just leave it on the vanity."

Danni walked back to the door to leave, but at the last moment turned around.

"Just so you know, he is a good guy. You could do worse than to have a friend like him in your corner."

Then she sashayed out the door. Gerard sighed. He knew the queen was right about Frank, he just couldn't see past the fact that Frank was gay, and never told him. Shaking his head at the bright pink, rhinestone encrusted phone, Gerard dialed Mikey's number from memory, and waited as it rang. Mikey picked up on the third ring.

"Aww man. Thank God you answered."

Gerard said quickly, not waiting for Mikey to speak.

"I need a lift home, and I have no clue where I am."

"Well how the fuck does that help me?"

"Um.. Err.."

Gerard stuttered.

"Can you give me a landmark that you are near?"

Mikey was getting impatient.

"I'm, I'm inside."

Gerard mumbled, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Gerard...I am about three seconds from hanging up on you if you don't give me some real answers."

"It's, It's a drag bar! I'm in a drag bar."

Mikey was quiet.

"Mikey? Are you still there?"

Gerard started to panic.

"I know where you are. I'll be right there."

The phone disconnected. Gerard pulled the phone from his ear and stared at it. How the Hell did Mikey know this freaky place? He figured that he should find his way out front, make it easier for Mikey, but as he pushed himself to his feet, his knee gave out and he collapsed back down onto the chair with a whimper.

"Fuck."

Gerard put the cellphone onto the nearest dressing table and buried his face in his hands.

*

*

*

"Here he is sugar."

Mikey walked in with another drag queen.

"Thanks Dollface."

Mikey looked at his little brother.

"You fucked up didn't you?"

Gerard looked up through his hair.

"I didn't mean to!"

Mikey sighed and picked his brother up putting his arm around his shoulder.

"Tell me about it at home."

Gerard nodded, putting all his weight onto Mikey.

"Is mom home?"

"No she had a dinner meeting."

They make their way out of the club with several of the girls waving at Mikey was they go.

"Err.. Mikey?  Have,  Have you been here before?"

"I met Dollface and Candyfloss at the hospital. They got beat up by a group of homophobic assholes and I helped patch them up. I have free admission here for life."

"And.. And you actually _come_  here?"

Gerard just wanted to understand.

"They're drag queens. It's weird!"

"You my dear brother have no right to judge when you only have one friend...well no friends now."

Mikey brought Gerard to the car and then got in himself.

"Oh, this came in the mail for you today."

Gerard looked at his brother, then at the letter in his hand.

"What is it?"

"Open it stupid, I don't know."

Gerard rolled his eyes and tore open the envelope, tipping its contents out onto his lap. A second later, as he realized what he was looking at, a shocked gasp escaped his lips.

_"Hey GWiz,_

_Long time no see huh? You didn't forget me did ya? Anyway, I''m finally coming back to the states. England was cool, but mail was a bitch and not having internet...well you can imagine. I want you to know after grabbing some real fucking pizza after this fish and chips shit for the last three years, I'm coming to see you. We have so much to catch up on...that is if you are not too busy with your college scholarship and your fiancé. Say hi to Taylor and Bob for me….not! Ha ha ha_

_Love Ray."_

"Ray!"

Gerard breathed out in awe, turning to grin at Mikey.

"He's coming home!"

"Wait...Ray Toro? Like wasn't he your secret best friend? I mean when you and your football buddies weren't picking on him?"

Mikey remembered Gerard pretending that Ray was tutoring him so he could stay on the team, when in reality he was doing alright. They used the excuse to hang out and do geeky things that Gerard's friends would never approve of.

"So when is he coming?'

"He..."

Gerard looked down at the letter, then back up.

"…doesn't say, but what do I tell him?  About my knee and everything?"

"I don't have an answer for you. Besides, you have more important things to worry about."

They pulled up to the house and Donna's car was in the drive way.

"Like the fact that mom is home from her meeting early, which means that things probably did not go well."

"Do I have to go in?"

Gerard looked at Mikey, biting his lip and trying not to cry.

"Come on, we got this together."

Mikey took Gerard's hand as they made their way into the house.

 


	7. Kill All Your Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "He's better off without me as a friend anyway. He doesn't need a loser dragging him down."
> 
> He glanced over to where Frank had his tongue down some boy's throat, then looked back down at his hands.
> 
> "Gerard..."
> 
> Ray took his hand and squeezed it lightly.
> 
> "...you like him."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone.
> 
> Please Enjoy.
> 
> Title taken from Kill All Your Friends ~ My Chemical Romance

Gerard had been struggling since the day he fought with Frank. He'd barely made it through the last semester, getting Ds and low Cs in all his classes. His mum had been ragging on him even more than usual, and even his dad had been siding with her more lately. Mikey had been trying to help keep the peace, but his own studies and busy schedule meant that he wasn't there much over the past month or so, and Gerard was feeling lonelier than ever. Gerard found himself relying more and more on his painkillers, and the thought of just swallowing the lot was always near the forefront of his mind. He'd also had several nasty run-ins with Bob and co, one of which had been extremely close to sending him to the emergency room, and if it hadn't been for his Spanish teacher from high school happening along, he probably _would_  have ended up there. He never liked the woman before that moment, but couldn't help but be thankful that she'd turned up when she did. The only bright side, and the only thing that stopped him from completely giving up, was the letters he got from Ray. They came about once a month. Ray told him that he was on the move all the time, so there was no point Gerard trying to write him back. He had also told him that even though he wasn't sure of the exact date he'd return, he promised that it would be before Gerard's birthday. That was in two days’ time! Gerard thought that Ray was cutting it pretty close.

*

*

*

Mikey had dropped Gerard in town so he could go study in the library, cos even though he was almost certain he was going to fail this semester, that wasn't going to stop him from trying. Hobbling along the sidewalk, Gerard suddenly became aware of his name being called. He turns to look.. It was Bob and his pose of meathead idiots. Gerard groaned and tried to walk faster, but before he'd gone another ten feet, they were on him. They surrounded him and shoved him against the side of the nearest building. Bob and some thug with extremely bad breath started whaling on him, as two others held his arms to keep him up. Tears streamed down his cheeks as he struggled weakly in their grasp. Gerard's vision was starting to blur, when a sleek black car pulled up to the curb a few feet away, and a tall man wearing black, whose muscles seemed to be breaking out of his shirt, stepped out, and started shouting at the thugs.

"Yo, why don't you assholes pick on some that has have a chance or at least half the brains like you guys."

Bob looked at the guy and decided that he could probably take out most of them.

"Come on guys. Let's go."

They kicked Gerard one more time and then shoved off. Ray watched them go. Same old asshole high school behavior.

"Man, they are never gonna change. Hey you okay uh..."

He looked at the poor victim they were abusing and his eyes went wide.

"Gee?"

Gerard had slid down onto the ground, his ass almost definitely in a puddle right now. He looked up with blurry eyes, blinking to try to clear his vision.

"What? Who?"

He mumbled, shaking slightly and holding his almost certainly cracked ribs. Like why did those asshole _always_  have to go for his ribs anyway?

"Gerard, it’s me, Ray!"

Gerard's eyes widened in shock. This _wasn't_  how he wanted his friend to see him.

"R-Ray?  G-Good timing."

Gerard's eyes rolled back and he slumped sideways in the mud.

"Holy shit!"

Ray picked Gerard up like he weighed nothing...cause he did. This was not the star quarterback that he knew in high school.

"Come on Gee, let’s get some coffee and you can tell me about it."

Gerard groaned, his eyes fluttering open.

"C-Coffee?"

 

"Life giving caffeine?"

Gerard sobbed into Ray's black t-shirt.

"Ray!"

"Yeah, Gee, I'm here."

"Th-Thank you.”

Ray helped the broken boy up into his car. He drove down to the hole in the wall coffee shop that they used to go to when they were younger. Ray helped Gerard out and into the shop. He settled him on one of the sofas and went to get them drinks.

"Here you go Gee, I think I remembered that you like a little cinnamon on top right?"

Gerard's head felt scrambled. He couldn't really think straight.

"Ray?"

He mumbled.

"What're you doin' here?"

"Man how hard did they hit you? I said I was coming for your birthday, remember?"

Ray looked at Gerard with concern. They really had a lot to talk about. The server brought over a plate of warm scones and Ray thanks her. He took a bite and then sipped his latte.

"Gerard, what happened in the last two years?"

Gerard choked slightly on his coffee.

"A-A lot."

He took another sip.

"W-Where'd you w-want me to s-start?"

"How about this?"

He pointed to Gerard's injured leg.

"When did this happen?"

Gerard grimaced.

"Well…like. two years and change ago?"

It sounded like more of a question than an answer.

"There was this big game..."

Gerard told Ray everything, from the accident, to not being able to pay for surgery, to all his friends turning against him, to the way his parents now treated him. He didn't tell him about Frank though.

"I'm honestly not sure I can take one more insult from her."

He hung his head, tears slipping from his eyes.

"It's not f-fair, you know?"

Ray lay a hand on Gerard's leg.

"It's more than not fair Gee; it's fucked up that they would turn on you like that. Even Mikey, but I am glad that it sounds like he came around a bit at least."

Ray finished his scone and latte.

"Hey, how about I pick you up from school tomorrow and we go do something stupid like hit the old cinema and watch a bunch of B movies. Then we can go back to your place and play video games and when Mikey comes home, we can play D&D."

Gerard grinned through his tears.

"Yeah."

He wiped his eyes on the back of his hand.

"That sounds _really_  good. Thank you Ray, you don't know what this means to me."

Ray pulled Gerard into a hug carefully.

"Now let's get you home."

He helped Gerard up and back to his car.

_***Time Stamp: Two Days Later***_

"And that's game!"

Once again Ray jumped up and down and shoved his finger in Mikey and Gerard's face.

"I will always been the champion at Super Smash Bros!"

Ray did the same little victory dance that he used to do two years ago.

"You don't change Ray!"

Gerard giggled.

"Still a dork!"

He grinned, showing his friend that he was only joking.

"Nu uh."

Ray stuck his tongue out at Gerard and then fell on the sofa laughing putting his head on Gerard's shoulder.

"Oh man, look at the time. I gotta get going. So I will be here to pick you up tomorrow for the show at seven. Oh and don’t be pissed, but I got us in early so that you don’t have to stand in the line and fuck yeah, I used your injury to sweeten the sympathy."

 

Gerard rolled his eyes, but grinned at his friend.

"I'm not pissed. It's _not_  like I haven't done the same myself."

Ray laughed at that and grabbed his jacket.

"Alright dude, see you tomorrow oh and..."

Ray waited for the clock in the living room upstairs to chime.

"...Happy Birthday man."

Ray gave him a sloppy kiss on his cheek and then left. Mikey peeled himself off the sofa and kissed his other cheek stating the same thing and then went upstairs living Gerard to bask in the fun of the night.

*

*

*

"So what did you think of the opening band?"

Ray was shouting over the music that played between bands. They were waiting for the main band to come on. Ray had hit the pit for a few minutes, but always came back to Gerard.

Gerard nodded enthusiastically.

"Loud!"

He laughed.

"But good! Ray?"

"Yeah Gee?"

Ray's black shirt was soaked in sweat, but it was hard to see in the dark of the club.

"I- I need to take my pills. Could you get me a Coke please?"

He looked down, his face creasing in pain as he rubbed his hand against the side of his knee.

"Sure Gee, I got you."

Ray rubbed Gerard's shoulder lightly and then headed to the bar.

* * *

"Baby, aren't you tired yet?"

"Nah, and the main band hasn't even come on yet."

"Well I'm gonna sit this one out."

"Alright, I'm gonna grab us a drink then."

Frank heads to the bar and sees the tall dude with the awesome afro he was throwing himself against in the pit.

"Hey man, you psyched for the main band?"

"Yeah, hey you're the little dude, no offense."

"Nah man, compared to you, I would say I am."

Frank laughed.

"I'm Frank."

"Ray."

Frank noticed the ring on Ray's hand. It was an engagement style ring with a pearlescent rainbow shimmer to it.

"Dude, you engaged?"

"Oh, yeah man, he's a real sweetheart too."

"Very nice. Is he here?"

Frank starts to look around the room.

"Nah, he's on tour of duty still."

"So what are you doing here?"

"Oh, I live here. Well I’m moving back and when he gets back from tour we are going to settle here."

"Cool!"

"Yeah, I came back early to find a place and hang with my childhood friend."

"Awesome, friends are important."

"Yeah and he is a good one. Plus it's his birthday!"

"Sweet, well, let me buy him a drink then."

Ray laughed.

"He ain't legal yet."

"Well neither am I, but these fuckers don't know that."

Ray laughed again and Frank slapped a twenty down and bought four bottles.

"See you in the pit then."

Ray collected two of the bottles and Gerard's coke.

"Yeah man, see you there."

"Tell your friend I said Happy Birthday."

"I will."

Frank headed back to his date and Ray headed back to Gerard.

* * *

Gerard had the pills in his hand. He'd taken four dry while Ray was at the bar, but he was waiting for his Coke to take the other two. As Ray approached the table, Gerard smiled, gratefully.

"Thanks dude. Was there a line?"

He accepted the Coke, and downed the pills, chasing them with a chug of his drink.

"Nah, I was talking to this guy that I kept running into...literally, in the pit. He seemed pretty cool and he bought us a beer and says happy birthday."

"He bought <I>me</I> a beer?"

Gerard asked, shocked.

"Why?  Who is he?"

He looked out into the crowd.

"He bought us both beer silly."

Ray popped his and took a sip glancing around the room.

"Oh, I see him, but I think he is a little occupied."

The lights dimmed and Ray put his beer down.

"All right man, I'll be back."

Ray slipped into the crowd at the pit. He saw Frank and hi fived him as the band took the stage. 

* * *

Gerard saw Ray hi five someone, but they had their back to him, and he couldn't see their face. He watched as Ray jumped around, pushing and shoving as the crowd went wild around him. Suddenly, the boy who'd hi fived Ray turned. It was Frank! Gerard instantly had a strong desire to hide under the table and take every last one of the pills in his virtually brand new bottle. He'd wanted to apologize for so long now, but he knew he'd left it too long, and was pretty sure that Frank would never forgive him anyway.

"Fuck."

He muttered under his breath, trying to think of what to say to Ray, so his friend would take him home early.

* * *

"Oh man, what a fucking rush!"

"Yeah man, and you hit hard for a little guy."

"Hey, you gotta let'um know you're there."

"Right right."

"Later dude!"

"Yeah later!"

Frank made his way back to his date...who seemed to be missing. He looked around and then checked his phone.

*had to bail, something came up. Text me later.*

"Well shit."

"Hey there."

A boy sat down in the booth next to Frank. He recognized him from the pit, but unlike Ray, this boy was very much Frank's type.

"Hey there yourself cutie."

The boy blushed.

"Saw you in the pit, you were amazing."

"Yeah, why didn't you come up and say hi?"

"You were busy with the dark haired Adonis."

"Oh Ray, nah, he's nice, but I like what I see right here."

The boy shifted from the booth to Frank's lap.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

Frank leaned in and licked a stripe up the boy's neck causing him to moan. Maybe this night was going to be good after all.

* * *

"Hey Gee, man that was fucking awesome!"

Ray downed his beer.

"Yeah."

Gerard mumbled.

"L-Looked like you w-were having fun."

He stared down at his hands.

"Yeah? Did you see me and the guy I was talking about. His name is..."

"Frank, I know."

"Hey! How do you know him?"

"He uh.."

Gerard sighed in defeat. He could never lie to Ray.

"He used to be a friend. Well, he started off as my tutor, but we became friends, I guess."

"Used to be? What happened?"

Ray sat down; this seemed to be a big problem for his friend. Gerard knew Ray would ask, and now he'd have to tell.

"I fucked up!"

He said sharply.

"No surprise there. It's all I ever seem to do these days."

"Come on man, talk to me. I'm your friend; you know I won't judge you right?"

Ray lay a comforting and on Gerard's arm. Gerard looked up with pain in his eyes.

"I found out something about him that I didn't know how to deal with, and I guess I dealt with it the wrong way."

He lowered his eyes, and then looked back up.

"He's better off without me as a friend anyway. He doesn't need a loser dragging him down."

He glanced over to where Frank had his tongue down some boy's throat, then looked back down at his hands.

"Gerard..."

Ray took his hand and squeezed it lightly.

"...you like him."

Gerard looked up, confused.

"Well yeah. He was my friend!?"

"No Gerard...you can't even look at him with that boy. I mean..."

"Ray! He's gay. !-I mean _that's_ what I found out about him, but I…"

He sighed dramatically.

"I really fucked up"

Ray looked at his friend and began to laugh. He laughed so much that he banged the table. Gerard frowned and folded his arms grumpily over his chest.

"Great, now you're making fun of me.”

He huffed.

"No no Gee, I'm not. Dude...I'm gay."

It took a moment for the words to sink in, but as they did, Gerard's arms, and jaw, dropped.. His eyes went wide.

"Since..."

He swallowed heavily.

".Since when?"

"Man seriously? I've always been gay. Why did you think Bob and his crew picked on me so much? You seriously didn't know?"

Ray pulled his wallet out and showed Gerard a pic of his fiancé.

Gerard was stunned. He shook his head.

"You.you never said!"

He looked at the picture of a young man in army greens, sat on the front of a tank.

"He's your boyfriend?"

"Actually he is my fiancé. We got engaged at Christmas time. I'm here finding a place for us so when he comes back from his tour of duty we can get married and settle down."

There is so much love in Ray's voice when he speaks. Gerard looked up.

"You're getting married?"

He stared at Ray for a moment, then smiled wide.

"Congratulations!"

"Thanks dude!"

Ray hugged Gerard tightly.

"So, you just found out that I was gay and getting married and you didn’t get pissed and freak out about all the times a touched you and just gave me a hug on your own without flinching. I would say that you were fine with it...so why not with Frank?"

Gerard frowned. He didn't know why he'd not been ok with Frank.

"I- I don't know! You're my friend and…”

"Gee..."

Ray lay a hand on his arm.

"...just go talk to him. It looks like this is really bothering you."

At that moment Frank pushed the boy he was kissing away with a pissed off look on his face. He pulled out his cigarettes and headed to the back of the club where the exit was.

"Now's your chance."

Gerard chewed on his lip, nervously.

"I want to talk to him, I need to apologize, but I doubt he'll want anything to do with me.. He's been avoiding me for months now."

"Has he really been avoiding you or have you been avoiding him too?"

Gerard huffed at Ray.

"When did <I>you</I> get so wise?"

Ray patted his hair.

"It’s the fro man, I never cut it and it's the source of all my power."

Ray laughed lightly and then helped Gerard up.

"Go gett'um tiger."

Gerard rolled his eyes, but smiled gratefully, then hobbled through the crowd toward the exit. Once there, he hesitated, taking a couple of deep breaths, then pushed the door open, and stepped out into the cold, a heavy shiver running through him. As the door closed behind him, Gerard looked around, and quickly located Frank. Taking another breath, he limped slowly toward him.

"Hi Frank."

He said, his voice shaking, though he wasn't sure if it was from the cold, or from absolute terror.

"Gerard? What are you doing here?"

It was a real question without an accusation. Gerard looked down at the ground, he didn't want to meet Frank's eyes if the other boy was going to dismiss him.

"I err… I wanted to th-thank you, for the b-beer."

"Thank me for the..."

Then it was as if everything clicked for him.

"It's your birthday. You're the friend Ray is with. His good childhood friend that he came back to see."

Gerard nodded.

"Yeah, I am."

He kept his head down.

"I get it if you want me to fuck off. I deserve that. I just want to say that I'm sorry. I screwed up bad, and, I'm sorry."

He visibly deflated, knowing that in all likelihood, Frank would tell him to fuck off now.

"Can you tell me what you are sorry for?"

Gerard looked up through his hair, then back down at his shoes. His breathing was starting to become uncomfortable.

"For..."

He swallowed, trying to calm down. He couldn't!

"…For b-being a j-jerk.."

He stuttered.

"For b-being an idiot, and a s-stupid l-loser."

He could feel tears streaming down his face, but he let them fall. His breathing was becoming ragged now.

"Gerard..."

Frank walked over to the older boy who was in danger of falling in so many ways. He reached up and touched the side of his face.

"...you are not stupid or a loser."

The club actually had a place out back to sit so Frank led Gerard there. He helped the boy down carefully.

"Gee...you are a product of ignorant parents and a lifestyle that doesn't give quarter. I am going to guess that you had no idea that your friend was gay did you?"

Gerard looked up now. His face was wet and his eyes were red.

"N-No?"

He mumbled.

"He he n-never said."

"And when you found out that he was and that he was engaged what did you say?"

"I.-I congratulated h-him."

Gerard looked at Frank. He really had missed him.

"So think about it...why did it bother you that I was gay and did not tell you even though you knew me was only a few months and Ray, who you have known for years didn't even bother you."

Frank lay a hand on Gerard bad knee gently.

"Why do you think that?"

"Because..."

He didn't have an answer. Then, suddenly, he did.

"Because I-I think I _like_  y-you."

Frank looked at Gerard. He searched his face for any possibility that he might have been joking.

"Really? You like me?"

Gerard nodded, hesitantly.

"But - I'm not g-gay!...I don't th-think."

He bit his lip.

"How do y-you know if y-you're g-gay or n-not?"

Frank chuckled a bit, He couldn't help it, Gerard was being so cute.

"It has nothing to do with gay or straight. Sometimes, you just like someone because you like them."

"But but how do I know, for c-certain?"

"Well...there is one way."

Frank moves a little closer shifting his hand from Gerard's bad knee to his thigh. Gerard was a little slow to catch on. He looked at Frank with confusion. Frank was about to say something else, but the door banged open and Frank jumped practically into Gerard's lap when three drunk couples came out laughing and chatting and paying no mind to them as they walked out the alley. Gerard gasped, his arms finding their way around Frank to steady him. As the couples walked away, and they were left alone again, Gerard realized what Frank had meant or, at least, he hoped he had. Gerard reached up one shaky hand and gently touched Frank's face, getting his attention and causing him to turn back toward him. When he did, Gerard took a quick breath, then leaned in and softly pressed his lips to Frank's. God, he hoped he was right. Frank quickly went from startled to smiling. The kiss was close mouthed, but better than the ones he was having with the boy earlier. In fact all the boys he had been kissing the last few months. Maybe that's because this is the boy he really wanted to kiss. He pulled back a little parting them slowly, but without intent.

"And now how do you feel?"

Gerard's breath was shaky and his heart seemed to want out of his chest. He nodded, unsure what to say.

"I-I'm not s-sure…"

He stuttered, quietly.

"…can I t-try that ag-again?"

Frank smiled and nodded figuring that words were not what the fragile boy needed right now. This time he took Gerard's hand in his and laced their fingers, but he let Gerard make the first move. Gerard nodded again in confirmation, then slowly leaned in, his eyes fluttering closed. When their lips met, Gerard tentatively began to move his. Gerard had had many kisses before, with girls, but there was something that just felt so _right_  about this. If asked though, he'd never be able to put it into words. He wanted to deepen the kiss, find out what _that_  felt like, but his nerves wouldn't let him do it.

"Hey Gee, I'm getting tired and...oh..."

Ray opened the door and saw Frank and Gerard kissing and smiled. The pulled apart, Gerard clearly startled, but Ray put his hands up.

"Hey, sorry to interrupt, but I was going to get going and..."

"I can get him home."

Frank spoke first and Ray smiled.

"I had a feeling you were going to say that. He handed Frank Gerard's jacket and placed a hand on Gerard's shoulder.

"I'll call you when I go apartment hunting next week."

Gerard was the color of a ripe tomato as he nodded mutely.

Ray high fived Frank and then left out of the alley. Frank turned to Gerard.

"Shall we?"

Gerard looked at him dumbly for a second, then blushed even darker, a shy smile spreading on his face. Frank stood up and moved to Gerard's other side. He slid a hand around his waist and helped him up.

"Let's go home Gee."

Gerard sighed, leaning against Frank.

“I don’t want to go home. Mum will be there to yell at me and…”

"Then I'll take you to my home."

Gerard looked up, a smile spreading on his still red face.

"You will?"

"Yeah Gee, I will."

Gerard blinked away his tears and let himself be led from the alley, feeling happier than he had in months.

 


	8. You Told Me This Gets Harder

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Mr. Way, why did you not complete the assignment given this weekend."
> 
> "Sorry Professor, I was watching porn in order to please my boyfriend."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone!
> 
> So only one more chapter left on this one and then another one bites the dust! ^0^
> 
>  _***GeesCLUELESSgirl***_ and I will be starting a new one with a Shakeperian twist, so watch out for that, although I hate the idea of starting a new story since right now I have 69! ^0^
> 
> Please enjoy! ^-^
> 
> Chapter title taken from "It's Not A Fashion Statement, It's A Deathwish" ~ My Chemical Romance

_***Time Stamp: Eight Months Later***_

Christmas was just a few weeks away, and Gerard was the happiest he'd been in a very long time. Back in June, Bob had been arrested by the police, after he'd been caught beating up one of the "girls" from the drag club. With no leader to follow, his troop of idiot-monkeys had drifted away, and they'd not bothered Gerard once since. Taylor had realized what a total bitch she'd been, and apologized. She was now seeing a guy from the college newspaper, and there was a rumor that they were engaged. Gerard and Frank had been an official couple for the last eight months, and Gerard had come out, with Ray and Will's encouragement, shortly after Bob was locked up, finally feeling safe to do so. The positive reaction was almost completely unanimous, with the exception of Gerard's mom. Donna had started screaming and calling him every insulting name under the sun, until Don stepped in, called her a few choice names of his own, and then proceeded to kick her out. He was now just waiting for their divorce to be finalized. Gerard and Mikey had, _obviously_ opted to stay with Don, and things were considerably calmer and more relaxed now she'd gone. Mikey had taken a tip of encouragement from Gerard and ended the sham of his engagement. He really was a playboy and heart and still too young to settle down so he was having fun enjoying the youth that his mother forced him to give up. Everything seemed to be falling into place except for one thing…Frank and Gerard had still not had sex.  
  
*

*

*  
  
 Frank was currently helping his aunt to put up Christmas lights, so Gerard and Ray were at Gerard’s house, in his basement, making plans for the holidays. Gerard had been taking it slow with Frank, nervous about going all the way, but he had decided that he wanted to, and would finally make it happen over Christmas vacation. It would be part of his present to Frank. That's if he could wait that long, cause now that he'd decided to, he really wasn't sure he could wait.

"I want to take Frank away somewhere, just the two of us."

Gerard blushed, showing Ray the website he'd found for a little bed and breakfast, upstate.

"Don't know how I'll be able to afford it though."

He hung his head, sadly.

“Aww this looks like a nice place. Hey, what are you giving Frank for Christmas?”  
  
Ray’s husband walked in and cut off Gerard before he could speak.

 

"Well I would say give him your virginity, but I am sure it is too late for that."

"Will!"

Ray swatted Will playfully as he sat down next to him.  
  
 "Here you go baby."

Will hands Ray a cup of coffee.

"Thanks sweetheart."

Gerard looked between his two friends, feeling a little embarrassed.

"Actually..."

He mumbled.

"…I still have that."

He blushed the color of a tomato.

"What?!"

Both Will and Ray cried out.

Gerard looked down at his hands.

"I've been kinda scared to…you know, it's a big thing. A big decision!"

He chewed on his lip, stopping when he tasted blood.

"But I _think_  I'm ready."

He looked up.

"No. I _am_  ready, definitely."

"Well I think that it is sweet that you want to do something like that and kind of sappy to give it for Christmas, but..."

"Oh shut up Will. Listen Gee, you do what you feel is right in your heart."

Gerard smiled shyly.

"Thanks Ray. I was thinking of waiting till we go to the b&b, but I'm not actually sure I <I>want</i> to wait. I mean, we've been together eight months already."

"I think getting away like that would be perfect. Let Will and I help you with the cost."

"Yes, you and Frank have done so much for Ray and I, it would be our pleasure."

Gerard smiled gratefully.

"That's _so_  nice of you, but I haven't really done that much."

With that Ray and Will launched into how they helped them find a place to live and a place for the wedding as well as looking after Ray while Will was gone.

Gerard let them enthuse for a minute or two, before chuckling quietly.

"Okay okay,  I get it,  I helped!"

He laughed, shaking his head fondly.

"You can help me pay for the b&b if you really want to?"

"Awesome!"

Ray hugged Gerard tightly.

"So when is your surgery? Not till the new year right?"

Gerard shook his head.

"Yeah, it's in February. Mikey and dad sorted everything. I can't wait actually, even though I hate hospitals."

"Yeah, but you will finally be able to walk again and without crutches!"

"Yes, after a couple of months of physical therapy."

Gerard grumped.

"Gee..."

"Hey, what are we talking about?"

Frank came in carrying a string of lights. He draped them around Gerard and smiled.

"My Christmas tree."

Gerard rolled his eyes before leaning up to kiss his boyfriend.

"Hi Frankie. We were just talking about my operation."

"Isn't it exciting babe, you are going to be able to move without pain and you will never need those pain pills again."

Gerard smiled lightly. Mikey, Frank and Ray had performed a kind of intervention regarding his pills. It was nearly six months since he'd taken more than the prescribed dosage. He was more than grateful to them.

"Yeah, that will be good."

He leaned back into Frank's arms.

"Yeah and after this semester and we have your grades back up, it will be smooth sailing."

"What's left?"

Frank chuckled.

"A book report of all things. You would think that a college wouldn't call them that, but nope. He has to do a book report on Bewolf and no, not the movie."

"Well _that's_  good…"

Gerard cheered.

"…cause the movie sucked!"

"Well it's a good thing that you are reading the book and not watching the movie."

Frank looked at the clock.

"I have to get to class and then I have my own report to do, but I will see you Saturday and we can work on your book report so make sure you have read the book okay baby?"

"Ok Frankie."

Gerard twisted in his seat to kiss Frank's lips before he left, then turned back to Ray and Will.

"Err, Ray?"

"I gotta get going to."

Will kissed Ray, much deeper than Frank and Gerard had and then he was grabbing his coat and joining Frank on his journey out of the house. Ray sighed and then turned to Gerard.

"Yeah Gee?"

Gerard looked down at his hands as they twisted nervously in his lap.

"I.. Err.. I kinda.. Err.."

He stumbled over his words, his cheeks the color of ripe strawberries.

Ray looked at Gerard with concern. He moved from his sofa to where Gerard was.

"Hey, Gee, what is it? Come on, you can tell me anything, you know that right?"

Gerard sighed dramatically.

"I know. I just…don't laugh, okay?"

He looked up through his lashes.

"I promise I won't."

Gerard looked back down.

"I want to seduce Frank, but I don't know how."

He mumbled his voice barely audible.

Ray looked at Gerard and could not help, but chuckle.

"Oh Gee, you don’t have to do that. He is already smitten by you."

Gerard couldn't be any redder. Ray placed a hand on Gerard's knee.

"Gee Gee, it will happen when it is supposed to and you will know that it is right. I mean this is why you want to go away with him right?"

"Right.”

Gerard agreed, then bit down on his lip.

"I just…I'm scared Ray. I heard it hurts a lot the first time. What if I can't handle it? What if I make an idiot of myself, and Frank laughs at me?"

He was freaking out now, and wasn't so sure he'd be able to go through with it.

"Gee...Frank is not going to hurt you and he is not going to push you and he is certainly not going to laugh at you. He is not that guy."

Gerard knew that Frank wasn't _that guy_ , but somehow that still didn't reassure him.

"But Frank's been with other guys. He's done this before."

He sniffed slightly.

"What if he wants to do something, you know…extreme?"

"Gerard, Frank gave up that life for you months ago. He doesn't do those things anymore. He doesn't need to. He is happy with you and only you."

Gerard sighed in defeat.

"I guess,  I'm just scared I won't be any good. Like…"

He met Ray's eyes for a moment before looking down again.

"…I don't really know how it works. I never even watched gay porn before."

"Well that my friend, I can help you with."

Ray grabbed Gerard's lap top and typed in a website. He put in his password and then handed it to Gerard.

"What?"

Gerard looked at the screen, and his eyes went wide as saucers.

"Ray! This is..."

He tried to not choke on his tongue.

"This is the account that Will got me while he was away. You can use it and get some ideas."

"Um, okay?"

Gerard could feel his face was on fire.

"Thanks?"

"No problem man. Now I have to head back to the apartment to get dinner ready. I will see you later and we can talk about when you and Frank want to go okay?"

Ray got up and ruffled Gerard's hair like always and then grabbed his coat and headed out. A little hesitantly, Gerard started to scroll down the page on his laptop, seeing dozens, if not more, of videos to watch. It was nearly half an hour before he plucked up the courage to actually click on, and watch one of them. When he did...

"Holy shit!"

He breathed out, feeling his pants becoming increasingly tighter by the minute.

"Hey Gee, wanna go grab something to eat? Dad has a meeting tonight so it is just the two of us."

Mikey rounds the corner into the basement stairs.

"Watcha watching?"

Gerard slammed the laptop shut with wide eyes and dragged it quickly onto his lap to cover the fact that his cock was very much on display.

"Nothing!"

He yelped, his face heating up fast.

Mikey looked at his little brother and smirked.

"Nothing huh? Okay well let's..."

Before Gerard could stop him, Mikey snatched the lap top and opened it up.

"NO!"

Gerard squawked, grabbing the nearest cushion and shoving it into his lap.

"Oh...well..."

Mikey did not start the video, but the screen was frozen on two guys and were....

"Uh...here."

Mikey handed the lap top back.

"Serves you right!"

Gerard smirked, the effect mitigated slightly by how red his cheeks still were.

"But did you say something about food, cause I could eat."

"Yeah, I thought we would hit the diner...uh, do you need to sort yourself out first? I can wait."

Gerard frowned.

"If I didn't need this cushion right now, I'd be throwing it at you!"

Mikey laughed.

"I'll meet you at the car. I gotta warm it up and brush it off anyway."

Mikey grabbed his coat and headed up the stairs tossing his keys and whistling. Gerard removed the cushion, already aware that his brother's presence had made his erection collapse.

"Oh well."

He chuckled to himself.

"There's always later!"

He tucked himself away and zipped up, then ran to catch up to Mikey.

_***Time Stamp: Saturday Night***_

Gerard was an idiot. That's the only conclusion he could come to right now. He was supposed to get that damn book read before Frank came over, he was due in twenty minutes, and Gerard had only read three and a half pages, as he'd spent every spare minute he had, watching those fucking videos (pun intended!) Gerard was genuinely scared that Frank was going to shout at him for this, and was seriously considering calling Frank and saying he was sick, so don't come over. Gerard had the book in his hands as he frantically tried to get as much read as possible before Frank showed up, but he _knew_ it wouldn't be enough. He had spent a good hour earlier, cursing Ray and his damn addictive website, but really he knew he had no one to blame but himself. Gerard could feel himself shake with nerves as he read, and waited. He had managed a grand total of twelve pages when his basement door opened, and Frank's familiar voice floated down the stairs to him.

"Hey baby."

Frank came down and saw his boyfriend on his bed with the book in his hand.

"Good to see you reviewing the book."

Frank walked toward the bed and hopped on it. He kissed Gerard, longing to do more, and then patted his knee.

"So, how far did you get in the report? Did you finish the rough draft yet?'

Gerard couldn't meet Frank's eye.

"Um…not exactly Frankie."

"Oh, okay, well show me how far you did get then."

Gerard sighed deeply, starting to feel a little choked up. He couldn't stop his hands from shaking now.

"Please don't be m-mad?"

He looked up with nervous eyes.

"Baby, what's wrong?"

Frank was concerned now. Although Gerard had come a long way, he was still fragile and Frank remembered this.

"Please Frankie? Promise you won't shout at me?"

Frank cupped Gerard's face lightly.

"I would never do that with real just cause, you know that now..."

Frank kissed him lightly.

"...tell me what's wrong."

"I-I d-didn't finish r-reading it y-yet."

Tears slipped from Gerard's eyes.

"I'm sorry Frankie! I'msorryI'msorry!"

He hung his head, trying to hide in his hair.

"It's okay Gerard really it is. Just show me how far you got?"

Gerard nervously handed the book over, open to page twelve. As soon as Frankie took it from his hand, Gerard curled in on himself.

"I'm sorry."

His voice, no louder than a whisper.

Frank was surprised, he had had only made it to page 12, not even a chapter.

"Baby, what have you been doing all week?"

Gerard's face flared darker. He looked anywhere but at Frank.

"Uh, well.. You see.. Uh.."

He bit his lip, his eyes spilling over.

Frank noticed that Gerard's tear filled eyes kept straying to the lap top. Maybe he spent the week watching movies?

"Baby, talk to me."

"I-I wanted to d-do something s-special for y-you.."

Gerard whimpered.

"For.. For _Christmas_!"

He chewed on his lip till a drop of red dripped down his chin.

"But, but.."

He sobbed.

"Oh baby, I don't need anything from you other than you."

Frank wrapped Gerard up in arms and rocked him slowly hushing him.

"No but.. I'm what I wanted to give you.."

Gerard tried to explain.

"I just n-needed some g-guidance."

He grabbed his laptop and opened it, the menu screen for HelixStudios porn site, flashing up onto the screen. He turned it to show Frank.

"See?"

This was it.  His face was about to spontaneously combust.

Frank looked and laughed. Gerard spent the week watching porn.

"Why baby, you did this for me? You are a sweetheart."

Frank opened the sight and started scrolling through the videos. They had little plots that led to pure porn and he laughed at some of the descriptions.

Gerard hung his head. He _knew_  Frank would laugh at him.

Frank realized that Gerard thought he was being laughed at.

"Baby baby, I'm not laughing at you; I'm laughing about the situation. I mean think about this."

Frank dropped his voice a bit.

"Mr. Way, why did you not complete the assignment given this weekend."

He then raised his voice a little.

"Sorry Professor, I was watching porn in order to please my boyfriend."

Gerard chuckled slightly, his head still low.. That _did_ sound ridiculous.

"See baby, it’s okay. I mean we still have to get the report done, but we can see what cliff notes has too. Now, why don’t you show me your favorite videos."

Gerard looked up, his eyes wide.

"Really?"

At the look on Frank's face, he giggled then took control of the laptop, scrolling until he found a video called "Book Report".He thought it appropriate.

"Book report huh? Giving you any ideas baby?"

Frank wiggled his eyebrows at Gerard playfully. Gerard blushed even darker, looking down shyly. His voice came out stronger than he thought it would though.

"Yes Frankie.”

He looked back up then leaned in to tentatively press his lips to Frank's.

"All right baby, let's check it out."

Frank hit play and pulled Gerard into his side. He had to stifle his lighter at the horrible acting and dialogue. He had to admit that the boys were cute though. Gerard squirmed a bit, he'd never watched porn _with_  anyone before. He wasn't sure whether to laugh or get turned on. It was really confusing.

They didn't waste any time going from innocent to hot and heavy and within five minutes, one boy was going down on the other. Gerard was cringing in embarrassment, but he couldn't deny that he was very, _very_  hard right now! He tried to hold it in, but a tiny moan escaped from between his plump pink lips. Frank licked his lips and looked at Gerard. He focused on his mouth, which were perfect for cock sucking. He always wanted to see what Gerard looked like going down on him. Just that thought was making him harder than the porn was. Gerard's lips were pure porn. Gerard's eyes were focused on the screen. He was frightened that if he dared to look at Frank, he'd end up cumming before they'd even done anything. His breathing was heavy, and he was struggling to sit still, as his pants were now uncomfortably tight. He bit his lip, his body trembling as he felt overheated in his skin.

"You okay baby?"

Frank knew it was a stupid question, but he felt the need to ask.

"I..."

Gerard hesitantly turned lust-blown eyes toward his boyfriend.

"…need..."

Frank saw the fire, but wanted the words, he shifted his body and rested his hand on Gerard' hip giving it a little squeeze.

"What, what do you need, tell me."

"I n-need you t-to t-touch me."

"I am touching you though baby."

Frank trailed his hand down Gerard's hip to his thigh and drew circles with his finger moving towards the inside.

"Frankie please…"

Gerard sobbed slightly as he desperately crawled into Frank's lap, wrapping his legs around Frank's hips.

"Please?"

Frank could feel how hard Gerard was.

"Alright baby, alright, I got you."

Frank reached down and palmed Gerard through his pajama pants and realized he was not wearing any underwear.

"Ooh!"

Gerard squeaked, his eyes rolling back and his mouth dropping open. His hands clutched tight on Frank's shoulders.

"Sensitive huh?"

Frank pushed his hand inside Gerard's pants and lightly touched his cock.

Gerard gasped, pushing his hips forward, and grinding against Frank's hand as he shivered and shook.

"Frankie."

He whimpered.

"Like that baby, want more? Want me to do what they are doing in the video?"

Gerard was beyond speaking now, so just nodded, his hands fisting and pulling at Frank's shirt as he looked at Frank from beneath hooded eyes.

"You gotta lay down then baby, lay down for me."

Gerard's breath shook through his body as he moved back onto the bed and lay down, his eyes now locked on Frank's.

Frank took his time and stripped Gerard. He had only seen his baby naked a handful of times and they were for helping him in and out of the shower when his knees hurt a lot.

"Beautiful, so beautiful."

The blush on Gerard's cheeks had spread to his neck and chest, but he didn't care. For the first time in so very long, he actually felt OK that someone, his Frankie, was seeing him naked.

"Frankie, pleeeease…"

"Okay, I got you, I said."

Frank slid down and hovered over Gerard's cock. He leaned in and licked a stripe up the shaft. Gerard's fingers gripped the bedsheets as he arched off the bed. He'd received head before, but it _never_  felt like this. Frank had almost taken his breath away, and he'd barely even started yet. Frank knew he was good. He had blown away, pun intended, many a twink that thought that he could handle Frank, but now he just wanted to show Gerard everything he knew in order to make him feel good, feel special, feel loved.

"Frankie.. Please.. Need.."

Gerard panted out, his eyes tight shut.

"Pl-Please?"

Frank decided not to keep his baby waiting any longer. He slipped his mouth over the head of his cock and deep throated him.

"Ahhhhhhhhh"

Frank loved hearing Gerard cry out and knowing that only he could make his baby feel like this. Gerard tried not to buck his hips, but the heat and the suction were just too delicious, and he bucked up hard into Frank's mouth.

"I-I'm sorry!"

He gasped, fear flooding his eyes as Frank pulled off to choke a bit.

"Frankie I'm sorry!"

"it's fine baby, It's a natural reaction."

Frank rubbed Gerard's hip soothingly to assure him that he was fine as he went back down again.

"Frankie, y-you don't h-have to!"

Gerard whimpered.

"I want to baby, I want to make you feel good."

Gerard closed his eyes and tried to relax, but he was scared that he'd choke Frank again, so he started to overcompensate, and tensed up, pushing his hips down into the mattress. Frank could tell that Gerard was upset now. He thought he hurt him. He took a quick glance at the video and saw that the two boys were now in a 69 position.

"Hey baby, want to try that?"

Frank pointed to the video. Gerard opened his eyes on a shaky gasp and turned to look at the screen. His eyes widened slightly, but he swallowed, then met Frank's steady gaze and nodded.

"O-Okay Frankie."

"Here, I'm going to lay down so that it is easier for you."

Frank gave one last lick and then moved up to kiss Gerard. He kissed him to give him confidence. Then he lay down.

"Now put your knees on either side of my shoulders."

Trembling with nerves, Gerard shuffled into position. What if he bucked again?.. He could really hurt Frank like this! Breathing heavily, he leaned down over Frank's body, trying not to put any weight onto him.

"Is this right?"

"Yeah baby, that's perfect. Now, you go as slow as you need to or do nothing. I will take care of you."

With those words, Frank took Gerard's back into his mouth. Gerard's mouth fell open and his eyes rolled back for a moment. Gathering his wits, he opened his eyes and leaned down, tentatively licking a line up the underside of Frank's hard and leaking cock.

"Oh!"

He gasped in surprise at how good Frank tasted. Frank went back to making Gerard feel good, but having Gerard's mouth on him was making it so much harder. They had never done this before and only a few times had Gerard gotten the courage to touch Frank over his pants. Now he was giving small kitten like licks, testing the waters so to speak of what it was like to have Frank in his mouth. Gerard licked up to the tip, hesitantly dipping the tip of his tongue into the pre-cum. It was salty and a little sweet, but not altogether unpleasant. Gaining confidence, he carefully took the very tip of Frank's cock into his mouth, and swirled his tongue around the head before pulling off and looking down between them to gauge Frank's reaction.

"Is that okay? Am I doing good?"

Frank was at a loss for words at the moment so he sucked hard on Gerard's cock to let him know what he was doing was perfect.

"Ahhh.. Oh God!"

Gerard breathed, then returned to the task at hand or in this case, mouth. Taking Frank's cock in once more, he started to bob his head a little, his mind flashing to what girls had done to him in the past that felt good. He tried playing his tongue up and down the vein on the underside as he bobbed and sucked. This was harder than he thought it would be and the fact that his own cock was half way down Frank's throat, really wasn't helping him to concentrate right now.

Everything that Gerard was doing, no matter how tentative was driving Frank crazy. He was going to cum much sooner than he wanted to and he didn't want to frighten Gerard by doing it in his mouth so suddenly.

"Baby, *gasp * you need to *pant* stop."

Gerard pulled off quickly and moved away, shuffling quickly to the other side of the bed, his eyes wide and frightened.

"Did I hurt you? I'msorryI'msorryI'msorry!"

He whimpered, curling in on himself.

"No baby, no, you didn't hurt me, I just didn't want to cum in your mouth and scare you."

Frank moved over to Gerard and coaxed him back.

"You.. You sure?"

Gerard murmured quietly as he peered up through wet lashes.

"Yeah, I am. Now I think this was enough excitement for one day. Why don't you go back to the book and I will clean things up and get us something to eat."

Gerard visibly deflated.

"Oh, okay Frankie."

He mumbled, looking down as he started to redress, his face the color of ketchup, as tears prickled at his eyes Frank left the room just as Gerard's phone rang.

Sighing sadly, Gerard picked it up.

"Hello?"

"Hey Gee, listen, I found the perfect place for you and Frank to go and...hey, what's wrong?"

Gerard slumped onto his bed, the cell between his shoulder and his ear.

"Doesn't matter."

He murmured quietly, as he considered just going to sleep and not waking up.

"What happened Gee, talk to me please?"

"He.. We.."

Gerard floundered, feeling himself break.

"We were.. He.. He said stop.. I.. I.."

He sobbed hard.

"He left."

"Here we go baby, how about a cup of hot..."

Frank nearly dropped the tray he was carrying on the floor. He put it down and ran over to his boyfriend.

"Hey hey, Gee, what's going on? Why are you crying?"

Gerard's eyes turned to dinner plates as he dropped his phone .

"F-Frankie? I-I thought you l..left!"

"I said I was getting us something to eat, so I was in the kitchen silly boy. Where did you think I went?"

"I th-thought you d-didn't w-want m-me."

Gerard whimpered, turning away to bury his face in the pillows.

"No baby, no, I would never not want you. I just thought we needed a break and that you were pushing yourself a little too hard."

"But.."

Gerard frowned, sniffing into his pillow.

"But I w-wanted t-to."

"Baby..."

Frank took Gerard in his arms.

"...you panicked when you made me deep throat by accident and then couldn't really handle a 69 position. How did you expect to go any further right now?"

"I…"

Gerard sobbed, hiding his face against Frank's collarbone.

"I didn't *sniff* wanna *hiccup* disappoint y-you. *hiccup*"

"Oh baby, the only way you disappoint me is by pushing yourself too hard."

"But I wanted to Frankie! *hiccup* I love y-you."

"I love you too Gee and the sex is not the reason. Now I want you to calm down and drink your hot chocolate. The cookies will be done in a moment and I am going to talk to who you had on the phone and hope you didn't scar them for life with our conversation/"

Frank picked up the phone and kissing Gerard left the room talking. Gerard was shaking; he couldn't help it, he felt cold and somehow disconnected. Wrapping his arms around himself, he curled up on his side, facing the wall, and closed his eyes. Frank had said that sex wasn't the reason he loved him, but then…what was?

[  
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	9. The Best Day Ever...For Real This Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gerard was staring in the mirror with his hands white-knuckling the edge if the sink.
> 
> "Sure Frankie!"
> 
> He called back.
> 
> "Keep it together."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone!
> 
> Another fic draws to a close. Gerard and Frank have been through so much in this one. Perhaps this is their moment of happiness?
> 
> Please enjoy guys. ^-^
> 
> (So I realized i fucked up badly and left out a whole chapter. Chapter six is now a new chapter that you might have never read. It explains the falling out that Frank and Gerard had that is mentioned in the former chapter six, now seven. It was not the fight that he had with Bob that Frank and Danni had rescued him from. It was much more than that. 
> 
> This is totally my fault and not _***GeesCLUELESSgirl***_. In fact I think I am the one that was truly clueless and I only discovered my mistake when I decided to go back and read the fic again. Lucky you right? @~@  
>  Again, if you never read this fic before just ignore this. Sorry again guys. :(

Frank got up out of bed and went to the bathroom to piss. He came out drying his hands and walked over to the balcony. He moved the curtain and looked out over the beautiful frozen forest that was the view of the second floor room that they had at the Bed and Breakfast that Gerard surprised Frank with for Christmas. Unfortunately, other commitments got in the way and they were not able to go until February, which as cliché as it sounds turned out to be Valentines weekend. The first night they got here, they were both exhausted so they just fell into bed and cuddled. Now Frank woke up first and watched Gerard sleep. He picked up the phone and quietly ordered room service and then went back to the bed. He crawled behind Gerard and ran his fingers through his hair.

"Wake up baby, its morning."

Gerard stirred, his nose wrinkled and he tried to disappear under the blankets.

"Too early."

He mumbled, eyes squeezed shut against the soft morning light.

"'nother half hour."

Only the top of his head stuck out now.

"I got coffee coming."

Gerard's eyes reappeared.

"And pancakes?"

He asked, hopefully.

"Maybe, but you aren't going to find out hiding all cute and innocent under those blankets."

Gerard frowned.

"I'm not cute and innocent.  I'm hard as fuck."

"Sure you are."

Frank proceeded to tickle Gerard and make the boy giggle and squirm.

"See how hard you are? Just a hardcore bad ass."

Gerard wriggled free and promptly fell off the other side of the bed, slipping out from beneath the warm covers.

"Ow."

"Baby are you okay?"

"I'm not hard as fuck, am I?"

He whispered his voice shaky.

"No baby, you’re soft and squishy and that is how I like you."

Frank kissed Gerard softly and lay him back in the bed just as someone knocked on the door.

"Enter."

The door opened and a man came in wheeling a tray.

"Oh dear is anything wrong sir?"

"Just a little accident."

"I will get you a first aid kit then. Be right back."

The man left and Frank held Gerard in his arms. Gerard chewed his dry lips and closed his eyes.

"I'm sorry."

The man returned and got on his knees. He placed an ice pack on Gerard's knee and then wrapped it to make it stay.

"Here are some pain pills just in case and an extra ice pack. Is there anything else I can get you?"

"No thank you."

Frank smiled at the man. He bowed and left the room. Frank propped the pillows up against the headboard and carefully set his delicate boyfriend up there.

"Now, you stay here and I am going to get breakfast.

Gerard nodded, his head low, eyes downcast, as he stared at his knee. They'd been there less than 24 hours, and he'd <I>already</I> managed to fuck things up.. Way to go, loser! Gerard felt tears prickle again, and frowned.. Why did he have to be so fucking stupid?

"Hey hey, no none of that. You promised me, okay?"

Frank lifted Gerard's chin and smiled at him.

"Confidence will come again in time. I promise you."

Gerard sniffed, his lips a little pouty.

"Not sure I ever really _had_  confidence. Pretty sure I didn't."

"Are you kidding Gee? You were a bad ass football player with a hot girlfriend. You had a ton of confidence, we just need to get it back...and I think I know how, but first we need to get some food in that adorable tummy of yours."

Frank kissed Gerard and then got up and lifted the dome on the cart.

Gerard's eyes bugged.

"Oh wow Frankie, that looks delicious!"

His stomach growled apparently agreeing with his conclusion. Frank pulled the tray out from under the cart and then placed the plate on it. He carried over to Gerard and sat it across his lap.

"Would you like me to feed you baby?"

Gerard giggled, sniffing back the last of his tears.

"What, and prove once and for all that I'm _not_  hard as fuck?"

Frank laughed and picked up a mini waffle placing it in Gerard's mouth. He let his fingers linger and smear syrup over Gerard's bottom lip before leaning up and licking it clean. Gerard's face turned a flattering shade of pink as he swallowed aggressively.

"F-F rankie?"

"You know, I am kind of not hungry for breakfast anymore, but I am hungry for something else."

Frank gave Gerard a predatory grin.

Gerard's eyes widened as he realized Frank's intent.

"Frankieee."

Frank said nothing. He carefully removed the tray from Gerard's lap, but placed the plate on the night stand. He then moved closer and picked up another mini waffle.

"Say ah baby."

"Ahhh."

Frank placed the piece in his mouth and then trailed the sugar coated finger down from Gerard lips to his chin an jaw. He moved to lick and suck on those areas that were marked while his hands fumbled with the buttons on Gerard's shirt. Gerard tried to help, but nervous fingers shook as he fumbled the buttons.

Frank grabs Gerard's hands and pins them above his head as he gets the last button open.

"Ah ah ah, you have your own breakfast."

He grabs for the fork and spears some of the omelet and places it in Gerard's mouth. He then drags the empty fork down his chest. He dips it in the syrup and does it again trialing it around on nipple before enclosing his mouth over it.

Gerard's back arched as his hands clenched reflexively. He nearly choked on the egg.

"Fra*cough*kie!"

Frank gropes blindly for the cup of water on the stand and hands it to Gerard. Gerard took a sip, a drip sliding down his chin, then rolling down his neck, making him shiver or maybe that was Frank?

Frank catches the water and then surges up and kisses Gerard making the rest of the water cascade over them. He drinks it off of his body like he is dying of thirst, but the water would not have been enough. He has never wanted anyone more in his life than he wants Gerard. He trails the water down the pale frame over his chest and to his trembling thighs. Frank loves that he can do that to the boy. He kisses and licks both the outer and inner thigh, but not does not touch his cock once.Gerard's hands reached for the smaller boy. Grabby hands, like a child's reaching for a cookie.

"Frankie."

Frank was out of his reach though as he moved down from the thighs to the knees and then the backs of them. In order to get those, he carefully maneuvered Gerard onto his stomach. Then he worked his way back up again till he was back to the thighs where he nipped and sucked and moved towards his goal hidden like a precious gem in the folds of Gerard's pale flash.

"Frankie."

"Shhh, I got you baby, just relax. Not going to do anything like you think."

Frank parted the pale flesh and then pressed his tongue in slowly.

"Oh HOLY FUCK!"

Gerard yelled out, his toes curling, and his semi becoming a full, throbbing hard-on.

"How are you...?"

He didn't have words, and what he _did_  have, came out in a panting whine.

"Frankieee…"

Frank didn't answer of course, he was a little busy. Gerard's mouth hung open as his brain seemed to short out and dribble from his ears. As Frank continued to lavish attention on his boyfriend's ass, he moved his hand up under him and stroked his cock slowly.

Gerard couldn't see straight. How was it even <I>possible</I> to feel this good, this turned on?

“Do you like that Gee? Do you want more?"

Frank realized he had to stop in order for Gerard to speak.

"More Frankie please  more?!"

Gerard gasped out, head spinning with what Frank was doing to him.

"I have to get the lube first baby. Hold on."

Frank got off the bed and went to the closest to their stuff.

Suddenly reality started to sink in. This was really happening!  Gerard suddenly wasn't so certain.

"F-Frankie?"

He turned his head toward where Frank was digging in his backpack.

"Hang on baby. I'm almost done."

"I.."

Gerard's breath caught as he shuffled into a sitting position and pulled his knees up to his chest.

"I.."

He buried his face in his arms.

"Okay here we are...baby? Baby what's wrong?"

Frank crossed to the bed looking concerned for his boyfriend.

Gerard shook his head but didn't lift it.

"Oh no baby, no no, we aren't doing that till you are ready."

Gerard looked up slowly.

" We _aren't_?"

He stuttered, surprised.

"Then, why the...?"

He nodded toward the lube in Frank's hand.

"Well I was going to add a finger to what I was doing, but nothing else I promise."

Gerard's cheeks took on a certain cherry hue.

"Oh."

He murmured. Frank crawled up on the bed and held Gerard.

"We have three days all to ourselves baby. I am not in a hurry at all. Hey, how about we take a shower and wash off this sticky syrup off hmmm?"

Gerard shrugged slightly.

"Baby..."

Frank hated when his boyfriend got down like that. Gerard sighed and looked up, a soft smile fading onto his lips.

"A shower sounds good."

He leaned in and kissed Frank's lips. One of the first kisses he'd initiated.

Frank sighed. He led Gerard to the bathroom and smiled. Maybe today would be a good day after all.

*

*

*

"Holy shit we're gonna crash!"

Frank veered the snow mobile to avoid the bank and the tumbled out of the machine into the snow. Frank scrambled over to Gerard.

"Baby are you okay?"

He was shocked to find him laughing.

"Frankie, *giggle* what the fuck?"

Gerard lay in the snow, his hair covered in powder.

"*giggle* I thought you said you knew how to drive that thing?"

"I do! Who the fuck told that rabbit to come out of nowhere! Don't they like hibernate and shit?"

"It was a _snow rabbit_  Frankie! Why do you think it was white?"

"Fuck that! It almost killed us!"

Frank sat in the snow with crossed arms grumbling.

"Aww..."

Gerard cooed.

"Did wittle bunny twy to hurt wittle Fwankie?"

He did his best Elmer Fud impersonation as he crawled to Frank's side and knelt there, looking at him innocently.

"I'll wittle bunny you! Com'er!”

 Frank scrambled up and chased after Gerard kicking up the fresh powder.

"Eeee!"

Gerard squealed as he got up quickly, turned and tried to run. The snow was quite deep here though, and he didn't see the rock that was hidden beneath the surface. He felt it though, as his foot caught against it and he fell forward, his eyes going wide, and his arms pinwheeling madly.

"FRANKIE!"

Then he was face down in the snow, and not moving. Frank couldn't help it. He started to laugh and he couldn't stop.

"Well now I have my own snowbunny!"

He fell back in the snow still giggling. Gerard remained still, holding his breath with his eyes closed.

Frank crawled over and scooped Gerard into his arms. He lifted the protective goggles off his face and pulled down the scarf.

"You good baby?"

Gerard slowly opened his eyes, gazing up into Frank's. After a few seconds, his left hand shot up, holding the snowball, that he secretly made. He smashed onto the top of Frank's head giggling wildly.

"Snow-Frankie!"

"Oh you are going to get it now!"

Frank scooped Gerard up, tossing him over his shoulder, and abandoning the snow mobile ran back to their cabin.

"Frankie, FRANKIE!"

Gerard yelped, wriggling and kicking, but laughing too.

"Put me down!"

Frank says nothing. He carries a flailing Gerard to the cabin and straight out the back. He walks over to the hot tub.

"How about I warm up my snowbunny a bit hmmm?"

Gerard's eyes widened comically.

"NO Frankie! Nonononono! Don't you _dare_!"

But he knew it was too late. Frank held him over the tub.

"One...two...three!"

Frank let go...and caught him.

"Ha!"

Gerard clung to the front of Frank's jacket, a slightly scared look in his eyes.

"I'm sorry Frankie."

He mumbled.

"C-Can we g-go ins-side now?  I'm c-cold."

"Nah, let's get in the tub. It will feel good."

*

*

*

"What did I tell you baby?"

Gerard sighed in content as he lay back against Frank's chest.

"I wanna stay here forever."

He murmured.

"Would you stay with me Frankie?"

He twisted his head around to meet Frank's eyes.

"Baby, I want to be where ever you are."

He kissed Gerard's nose lightly.

"However, we do need to get out of here before we turn into raisins."

Gerard giggled.

"I ain't no raisin. I's a prune!"

He held up his hand to show Frank his already wrinkly fingertips.

Frank sucked one in his mouth.

“And you are a tasty one, but I think I would rather your skin smooth and perfect, which is why I am going to give you a professional massage when we get out of here."

"You can do that?"

Gerard asked, skeptically.

"Baby, you have no idea what I can do with these hands."

Frank wiggled his fingers in Gerard's face. Gerard giggled, his face turning rose pink. The innuendo was not beyond him.

"Are you, um, gonna _show_  me?"

"Why don’t we just start with your back."

Frank got out of the hot tub and grabbed his robe. He then helped Gerard out and put his robe on him. He tied it and then led him back into the room. He sat Gerard on the bed and then went to the closet and grabbed a little purple bag.

"Okay, take the bathrobe off and lay on your stomach."

Gerard eyed Frank suspiciously.

"You getting _fresh_  with me, Mr. Iero?"

He cocked an eyebrow at him, a small smirk playing on his lips.

"Heaven forbid Mr. Way. You can even cover that cute ass of yours with a towel."

Frank tosses one of the fresh towels to Gerard.

"Okay, I am going to get ready so I will be right back."

Frank disappeared into the bathroom. Shuffling off his robe, Gerard moved to the center of the large bed and lay down on his stomach. Feeling kinda brave, he left the towel on the bed by his side. Gerard rested his head on his arms and closed his eyes as he waited for Frank to return.

"Okay baby..."

Frank had to catch his breath. Gerard looked so good pale and naked on the deep red duvet covers. He walked over and ran a hand over the smooth skin. He climbed on the bed and picked up the massage oil. He poured some on his hands and rubbed them together. Then he brought his oil covered hands down on Gerard's back.

Gerard whined slightly.

"Cold."

He shivered, but lay still, a small smile tracing his lips.

"Don’t worry baby, it's gonna get real warm soon."

Gerard hummed his acknowledgement, and relaxed as well as he could. He'd had sports massages before, but they were <I>never</I> like this. This felt different. It felt intimate.

"Mmmm."

Gerard sighed. Frank worked his way down Gerard's body, starting with this shoulders and neck and then to his back, upper then lower. He then moved down to Gerard's ankles and calves and slowly worked up his leg to his thigh,

 "How's that baby?"

Gerard mumbled, his eyes still closed.

Now Frank was pushing the oil into the thigh and getting close to Gerard's ass. He massaged the globes gently. Gerard's eyes fluttered open and his breath stalled in his lungs.

"Frankie?"

His small voice sounded in the quiet room.

"Mmmm?"

"If If I'd..."

Gerard's words got stuck in his throat. Frank stopped his massage.

"What's that baby?"

Gerard's cheeks flushed.

"If I'd p-put the towel on..."

He swallowed heavily.

"Would you have m-moved it?"

"Not really. I would just have moved under it. Okay turn over."

"Turn..."

Gerard stuttered, looking at Frank unsurely. Seeing the encouraging look in his eyes, Gerard sighed and turned over onto his back. He had a sudden urge to grab the towel and cover himself. He didn't. Instead Frank grabs the towel and covers Gerard's cock with it. He then starts up at the shoulders again and works his way down his chest.

"Frankie…"

Gerard began, hesitantly. When Frank merely hummed for him to continue, he took a breath, then carried on.

"Frankie, you know I want to _do_  things with you…"

He paused, searching for the right words.

"Yeah baby I do, but I am not about pushing you. I want you to be comfortable or it's not going to feel good and it's not going to be fun for either of us."

Gerard's cheeks heated up more.

"Well, you see…I um… I was thinking…”

Why was this so hard? Gerard closed his eyes tight, took a deep breath, and just blurted it out.

"Iwasthinkingmaybeicouldtopthefirsttime?"

He kept his eyes shut, anticipating Frank either laughing at him, or leaving. Frank looked at Gerard trying to decide if he heard the boy correctly.

"You want to top me?"

Gerard turned his face away.

"Forget it. Doesn't matter."

He mumbled, feeling like a total idiot.

"Baby..."

Frank turned Gerard's face back to him.

"I want to do what makes you happy and if that is what it will take to show you that I love you then I will do it."

Frank leaned over and kissed him. Then he got up and went to the closet and pulled out the lube.

"Do you want to prep me or do you want to watch me do it?"

Gerard's jaw dropped.

"I-I don't know h-how."

He reddened more.

"Can I w-watch please?"

"Sure baby."

Frank climbed back on the bed and slipped off his robe. He picked up the lube and squeezed some out on his fingers.

"Okay baby, get comfortable for the show."

Gerard moved up the bed a little and lay back on the pile of pillows. He wasn't quite sure why anyone would need five pillows each, but he didn't feel inclined to question it right now. He shuffled to get comfy, then breathed deeply.

"I-I'm ready Frankie."

Frank crawled over Gerard lap and hovered over his thighs he reached between his legs and slowly pushed a finger inside himself.

"Oh fuck."

Gerard breathed.

"Y-You look s-so hot l-like that."

Gerard was painfully hard at this point. Frank moved quickly to two fingers as he watched Gerard grow hard. He licked his lips and wanted to taste him. Gerard could hear the slick slide of Frank's fingers as he pumped them in and out of his tight hole. Suddenly he wanted to do that too. He wanted to know how it feels, but he was scared.

"Frankie."

He whimpered, his hand moving to wrap lazily around his own cock.

"Are you ready for me baby?"

Gerard put his desire to finger himself raw, to the back of his mind. Maybe he'd try that later, when Frank was asleep.

"I-I'm ready Frankie."

Frank pumped himself a few more times then pulled his fingers out. He climbed over Gerard's cock and started to sink down. Gerard's hands moved unconsciously to Frank's hips to guide him down.

"Oh Gods Frankie, you're so tight!  I-I'm not hurting you am I?"

Frank could hardly speak. It had been a while since he had bottomed. Even before he was dating Gerard.

Gerard started to try to withdraw when Frank didn't reply.

"I'm sorry Frankie."

He blushed wildly.

"No no s-stop, its good."

Gerard furrowed his brow.

"Y-You sure?"

"Y-Yes...oh God!"

Frank bottomed out. Gerard shuddered, his fingers gripping Frank's hips, reflexively.

"I -love you F-Frankie!"

He leaned up to press his lips to the other's. Soft and hesitant.

"Love you too baby."

 

Gerard wasn't sure if he should move, or just keep still and wait for Frank. He chose the latter, figuring that he could actually hurt Frank if he wasn't ready. He slowly ran his hands over Frank's ribs, and around onto his chest.

"How are you real?"

He whispered in awe, his cheeks flushing again. Frank smiled and then lifted himself up and then slid back down.

"Ohhhh!"

Gerard moaned out, his eyes slipping closed and his mouth dropping open.

"Good?"

"F-Fucking amazing Frankie!"

Frank pushes Gerard down flat and smirks at him.

"Get ready to have some fun."

Frank starts to undulate his hips and grind down on Gerard.

"Oh!-Holy mother of skittles Frankie! I-I wanna do this for you!"

If Frank was not in his own moment of ecstasy he would have completely lost it laughing right now. Instead he decided to run with it.

"Mmmm, and I bet you taste like the rainbow too."

"Well.."

Gerard panted slightly.

"I am gay or bi or _something_."

He wasn't quite sure how to label himself just yet, he just knew he wasn't straight.  Frank looked down at his absolutely clueless boyfriend who was enjoying exploring his new found sexual freedom.

"You are so beautiful. Come up here."

Gerard sat up, red faced, and pressed his lips against Frank's collarbone, as his hands ghosted over Frank's sweat-slick skin. How did he get so lucky? Frank adjusted himself so that he was sitting up in Gerard's lap. He wrapped his arms around Gerard's neck and moved himself up and down on his cock.

Gerard lost all knowledge of the English language.

"Fthgfrmnbi,mh.."

He shook his head and tried again.

"Dhggfvyink?"

Frank increased his pace aiming for his own prostate as he fucked himself on his boyfriend's hard cock.

"C-Close."

Gerard forced his mouth to work.

"Want you to cum for me baby. Want you to fill me up and know how good it will feel inside of you.

Gerard couldn't take much more. His balls were tightening, then, he was cumin and he was cumming harder than he'd ever cum in his life.

"AHHHHH!... FRANKIEEEEEEEE!"

He screamed as he came, his hips thrusting upward and his vision whiting out. Frank watches his boyfriend shake and shudder and then fall back panting. Frank dismounted and went to get some water.

Gerard frowned, despite his blissed out state, and leaned up on his elbows, awkwardly, looking toward the bathroom.

"Frankie?"

He was pretty sure Frank didn't cum. Had he even enjoyed it?"

"Hold on baby, getting you something to drink."

Gerard didn't want a drink. He wanted to know that Frank was okay.  That he wasn't hurt right now and trying to hide it.

"Here we go."

Frank was walking with a little limp, but he was doing okay. He sat down on the bed and held the water out to Gerard. Gerard stared at the glass. He'd seen the limp, and didn't believe Frank's smile.

"Thank you."

He said weakly as he took the water and drank more than half in one go.. Just so he didn't have to speak.

"Easy baby easy. Sex can be dehydrating, but don't drink too much."

He laughed and took a sip of his own drink. He then picked up the cloth that he brought with him and gently cleaned Gerard's cock off.

"So do you want to take a nap before we have dinner?"

Gerard looked down at his slightly shaky hands.

"K"

"Baby, what's wrong?"

Gerard couldn't meet Frank's eye.

"You..."

He sniffed quietly.

"You didn't cum. You're hurt now, and you're only acting happy for my benefit!."

He looked up.

"Was I that bad?"

"What?"

Frank looked at Gerard like he was crazy.

"Gee...you silly beautiful man."

Frank chuckled a bit.

"First I limp because that is what you do after great sex. Second, I didn’t cum cause I didn’t want to. I want to wait till later. Trust me, the sex was amazing."

"Y-You didn't _want_  to?"

Gerard stuttered. How was that even possible?

"Nah, this was about you baby. I can always take care of myself later."

"But but."

Gerard scowled.

 _I_ wanted to take care of you!"

Frank smirked. He leaned back with his cock proudly displayed.

"Well then, get to sucking dollface."

Gerard grinned. He could do this. He really <I>wanted</I> to do this. Leaning down, he licked a stripe up the underside of Frank's cock, never breaking eye contact once. Frank ran a hand through Gerard's hair and guided him up and down his cock. He was getting better at this as the time went on, but Frank knew that Gerard would not be able to deep throat so he made sure to be careful on his up thrusts. He encouraged Gerard to wrap and hand around the shaft so his mouth only went down so far. All in all though, it was a pretty good blowjob. Gerard tried to remember what he'd seen in those videos. How the boys bobbed their heads and twisted their fists. He was nervous and still learning, but the noises Frank was emitting were an encouraging sign. Because the Gods were weird or whoever decided where your, "holy fuck, that feels amazing" places were, Frank was starting to lose it. Although he like deep throating, his holy fuck place was just around the head and that is where Gerard was concentrating making a sloppy mess with his spit and lips and Frank was getting too close too fast.

"Baby baby, you gotta stop, I'm gonna...ahhhhhh!"

It was too late and Frank felt everything tighten up and then he was cumming in Gerard's mouth. Gerard spluttered, choking slightly as he quickly pulled off, his face turning red as Frank's cum dribbled down his chin.

"Was,  Was that ok?"

He asked, coughing a little. Frank was in shock. The boy was more worried if he did a good job than the fact that Frank just nutted in his mouth. Frank surged up and kissed Gerard cause despite his own cum there, he deserved to be kissed right now. Gerard was taken aback by Frank's reaction. It took him a moment to collect himself enough to kiss back. After a minute, he pulled back for much needed air.

"So. I did good?"

"Yes, God yes, you were amazing Gee!"

Gerard smiled proudly. He still wasn't used to getting praised for anything, but he thought, maybe, he could get used to it.

"I tried to do what they did in those films.”

"You did wonderful baby, but now *yawn* I think we both need a nap."

Gerard nodded, wiping his chin with the edge of the blanket and crawling into Frank's arms.

"Ok Frankie. *yawn*. Night night."

:Night Night baby."

*

*

*

"I can't believe this is our last night here."

"It had been an amazing weekend for Frank and Gerard. They went snowmobiling, sledding, ice skating, even took a winter horseback ride. Not to mention the indoor pool, sauna, arcade, everything they could have wanted to do. Now they were walking back to the room for an amazing and super filling dinner. Frank had an arm wrapped around Gerard as he put the key card in the door and popped the lock.

"After you my love."

Gerard giggled and blushed as he entered.

"Back in a sec."

He stated, heading for the bathroom.

Frank tossed his coat on the chair and took off his tie. Dinner was a formal affair which was kind of nice, but he really needed to get out of this monkey suit.

"Hey Gee, you wanna watch a movie?"

Frank picked up the remote and pulled up the guide looking to see what was on tonight.

* * *

Gerard was staring in the mirror with his hands white-knuckling the edge if the sink.

"Sure Frankie!"

He called back.

"Keep it together."

Gerard muttered to his reflection.

"You can do this."

He splashed some water in his face then dried off, all the time taking deep calming breaths. Next, he removed his jacket, tie, shirt and pants, leaving him in just a pair of black silk bikini briefs that he'd spent _way_  too much time choosing at the mall before they left home. 

* * *

Frank finally settled on a comedy as he stripped out of the rest of his suit till he was just in his boxers. He went to the mini fridge and grabbed a bottle of water. He opened it up and took a sip as the door opened to the bathroom. He turned to look at Gerard when his eyes went wide and he spit all the water out of his mouth like in the movie he was watching. He just stared dumbfounded with his mouth a gape and his cock taking a full interest in his boyfriend.

Gerard swallowed deeply, eyes cast down. No backing out now.

"So I was thinking…"

He said, voice surprisingly clear and steady.

"I think it's time you popped my cherry. Don't you think?"

He looked up through his long lashes at Frank _Loving_  the reaction he was getting, yet still supremely nervous.

"Uhhhhhhhh."

Frank's brain had pretty much leaked out his head by now as he realized how beautiful Gerard looked in just the simple pair of black briefs. Gerard giggled despite his nerves.

"Was that English Frankie? I thought you were supposed to be the nerd?"

You...pretty...pretty..."

 

Gerard raised an eyebrow.. He appeared to have broken Frank.

"You alright there Frankie?"

He asked softly, as he slowly walked toward his now monosyllabic boyfriend. Gerard didn't get another word out. Frank grabbed him and threw him on the bed. He crawled on top of him and stole his breath away with his mouth. He didn't stop there though. He moved down and kissing, bit, and licked as much skin as he saw on his boyfriend. Gerard was a writhing, breathless mess in three minutes flat.

"Frankie."

He moaned out, arching his back as Frank suckled on the skin above his right hipbone.

"N-Need you!"

"Yeah baby, yeah, but first I have to taste you."

Frank flipped Gerard over and then with no warning spread his ass cheeks and dove in. Gerard's eyes rolled back and he saw stars.

"OH FUCK!!"

He cried out, hands twisting in the sheets. Frank pushed in deeper with his tongue while reaching under and pushing Gerard into his knees. He then gripped his cock and started a lazy stroke Gerard couldn't fathom how Frank had gone from unable to speak, to this. He now found himself speechless. Frank was amazing at mulit tasking. At the same time, as doing all that, he slowly slipped a finger in his mouth to lube it up and then pressed it carefully inside alongside his tongue. Gerard tensed slightly, then forced himself to relax. He wanted this so bad. He wasn't about to pussy out this time. Frank continued to stroke Gerard's cock, but he twisted his body around and pushed his head under Gerard and took his cock in his mouth instead while he continued to finger him. Gerard was panting hard.

"Frankie. Please?"

Frank worked a second finger inside the first and started to search for Gerard' prostate. If he could get the boy to cum first, it would be easier for him to relax later. Gerard's eyes flickered closed as he let out a string of quiet expletives. Frank began to scissor his fingers as he sucked Gerard's cock knowing it would not be long now.

"C-Close F-Frankie."

Gerard whimpered.

"Cum for me baby."

Frank pulled off long enough to say that and then went back to expertly making his boyfriend lose control.

And that's just what Gerard did. He totally lost it and came hot and hard in Frank's mouth.

"Ahhhhh!.. Fr..an..kieeeeeeee!"

As Frank predicted when Gerard came he went pliant. Frank then carefully pushed him back over on his back, after taking his fingers out, and crawled up between his legs. He positioned himself and his cock at Gerard's opening.

"I got you baby; you are going to do fine."

He then slowly started to push into the tight opening. Gerard's brow furrowed slightly, his eyes remaining closed as his fingers grasped softly at Frank's shoulders.

"Frankie."

He murmured, breathing through the discomfort.

"Shhh, I got you Gee."

Frank murmured to Gerard as he continued to push in slowly.

He kissed each of the tears away that he knew would fall from his baby's eyes. He held him carefully as he came closer and closer to his body. Finally after what Frank knew felt like an eternity, his thighs touched Gerard's and he held the boy tightly while he waited till Gerard was ready for him to move.

"Take your time baby. This is all you."

Gerard shook slightly, soft sobs leaving his lips as he clung to Frank, trying desperately to be OK for him.

"H-Hurts."

He whimpered.

"We can stop baby. Anytime, you want to, I won't be upset."

Gerard shook his head, though his face remained screwed up in pain.

"Wanna.. Just.. Need a.. Minute."

"Sure baby, I got you."

Frank peppered his baby with kisses and whispering so much encouragement. Gerard's short nails clawed at Frank's shoulders and biceps as he tried to slow his shaky breathing. It was a full four minutes before the pain started to decrease, and Gerard became fidgety.

"Frankie?"

He didn't know how to ask his lover to just move.

"Yeah baby?"

"Can you…"

Frank saw that Gerard was struggling with his words, but he was pretty sure he knew what the boy wanted.

"Okay baby, nice and slow."

Frank let go of Gerard and pushed himself up on his arms. He then eased out of Gerard and then pressed back in slowly.

"Oh yes."

Gerard gasped softly, his eyes fluttering.

"Oh G-God."

'Bingo' Frank internally smirked. He hit Gerard's prostate on the first try.

Gerard felt like he'd taken an electric shock.. but in a  _good_  way.

"What, what is that?"

"That sweetheart is how I am going to make this the most amazing experience of your life."

Frank pulled out again, but this time he pushed back in harder aiming for the same place. Gerard's whole body convulsed and his brain short circuited. Frank smiled and began a steady pace fucking in and out of his boyfriend. Gerard was twitching and panting, moaning and writhing. It felt amazing, despite the stretch, which still hurt a bit.

"Frankie? F-Faster?"

Gerard met Frank's eyes.

"Harder."

Those were the words that Frank was waiting for. He gripped Gerard' hips tightly and pulled his cock all the way out and then rammed it back in.

"FRANKIEEEEE!!"

"Fuck baby, you feel so good. God, been wanting to do this to you for so long now."

Gerard's heart was racing and his head was spinning. He'd lost all control of his voice and body, and was thrusting up to meet each of Frank's strokes.

Frank pulled out.

"Roll over baby, let me fuck you like the animal I know you are."

Gerard whimpered at the loss, but still, somehow, had the presence of mind to do as he was instructed, and rolled onto his belly, before awkwardly shuffling up onto his hands and knees, presenting Frank with a lovely view of his tight, puckered opening.

"Frankie?"

"Baby, you look so fucking good right now."

Frank moved up and licked a stripe up Gerard's ass and then sat up and pushed back in. Gerard moaned obscenely at the feeling, then blushed red from embarrassment, squeezing his eyes shut and hanging his head as his arms shook slightly beneath him.

"Come here baby."

Frank pulled Gerard up till he was on his knees and his back was against his chest. This was the perfect angle to hit the boy's prostate. Frank held him tightly as he fucked up into him slowly mouthing his neck with hot wet kisses.Gerard's eyes rolled, his mouth hung open and his head fell back onto Frank's shoulder. He'd never felt anything so incredible in his life, and he couldn't contain the desperate "ah ah ahs" that escaped his parted lips, along with a little drool. Frank had been with quite a few boys, but nothing and no one was like Gerard. Beyond the warmth that was his body wrapped around him and the fact that his cock felt so good inside his baby, his heart was full too.

"I love you Gee. Fuck I love you so much."

"Frankie."

Gerard sobbed slightly, unable to say more as he lifted one hand and cupped Frank's cheek softly. He hoped Frank understood. He would say "l love you!", if he wasn't so close that he physically couldn't speak.

"Cl-Close!"

"Me too baby. Let's try and cum together okay?"

Frank didn't change the pace, just made his thrusts more direct.

Gerard whimpered, his heart thudding in his ears.

"Frankie.. Need.. Uhh!"

Frank knew it was too much for the boy now. He needed to end his misery. He reached around and grabbed his cock stroking it with his movements.

"Ohhhhh!"

Gerard threw his head back, nearly hitting Frank in the face, then went ragdoll-limp, just moaning and letting Frank control his body. He found that he liked losing his control. Frank kept whispering dirty things in Gerard's ear as he continued to fuck him, holding his own completion back. Gerard's arms hung at his sides as he accepted the fucking he was receiving from his boyfriend. His head lolled as he could feel his body start to tighten.

"I'm gonna..."

He whimpered as Frank struck his prostate dead on, and a fraction too hard.

"That's it. Cum for me baby."

That's all it took, and Gerard was cumming hard.. Great ropes of sticky white covering his thighs and the blanket beneath them. His muscles clenched almost painfully and he cried out as everything went white, then faded to black.

*

*

*

"Well I think that is the last of it."

Frank closed the trunk and went back to the room.

"You got everything baby?"

Gerard nodded.

"I think so."

He checked for the fifth time that he'd picked up his wallet and phone.

"Yep, all set."

He grinned at Frank, stepping toward him and melting against his chest.

I think I got everything I need."

"And I know I have everything I need."

Frank kissed Gerard deeply and then opened the car door for him.

"Thank you.”

Gerard giggled as he climbed in, reaching for his seatbelt. Frank laughed and closed the door and then walked to the other side and climbed in.

"Hey Gee. You know what?"

"What?"

Gerard asked, turning in his seat to smile adoringly at Frank.

"I'm really glad you chose defeat."

Gerard grinned.

"Me too Frankie. Me too."

He leaned over and kissed Frank's cheek before sitting back and turning on the radio, the biggest, cheesiest grin on his face.

"Frankie?"

"Yeah baby?"

Frank eased the car out of park and put it into drive.

Gerard sighed happily.

"I don't think I tell you this enough, but I love you.”

He looked back to Frank's face.

"And..."

He trailed off, his face heating up.

"And?"

Frank started to back out of the parking spot and drive away from the resort.

"And I want to thank you."

Gerard's voice went small and quiet as he looked down at his hands.

"If it weren't for you, I'm not so sure I'd be alive right now."

Frank pulled out on the road and took Gerard's hand with the one not on the steering wheel.

"And I am alive in here because of you baby."

He pressed the hand to his heart

Gerard felt a lump in his throat.

"Guess we saved each other then, huh?"

"You bet we did, but we will never choose defeat again."

Frank stopped at the light and kissed Gerard sweetly. He knew that they were going to be fine and when Gerard got his surgery, it would be them together against everything that life would throw at them.


End file.
